


Bury Me

by Patd06



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Yakuza, Betrayal, Birthday Sex, M/M, Oral Sex, Sexual Content, Tragic Romance, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-16
Updated: 2013-12-07
Packaged: 2017-12-29 14:53:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 31,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1006712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Patd06/pseuds/Patd06
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grimmjow lives a double life. By day he's a surgeon, by night a yakuza lord. His boyfriend, Ichigo, has no idea about his other life. What happens when Ichigo gets pulled into the chaos? Will Grimmjow be able to save him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What If I Wanted to Break?

**Author's Note:**

> Salutations! This is going to be my very first story that's more than three chapters. It's not really supposed to be funny though some of it might come off as humorous. Also, this is going to be a tragedy, so don't let it surprise you as things progress if you follow this...
> 
> Much love and thanks to GrimmKitty6 as always, and this story is especially for her because she requested a deathfic from me...I luhh yhu, Grimm-chan! Hope you like it:)
> 
> Alright, on with chapter one! I hope you enjoy:)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or the characters therein.

Operating on someone's brain is like diffusing a bomb. You strike one nerve wrong, and they're dead. Just like your shit gets blown up if you cut the red wire instead of the blue one, or some shit like that. Whatever. I'm not on the fucking bomb squad, but you get what I'm saying, right? Good.

I'm a neurosurgeon. The best neurosurgeon in Japan to be exact. I graduated number one in my class from an American university called Yale. Ever heard of it? Duh, I know you have. I've won every medical award possible, including the Nobel Prize in medicine. And I'm only thirty-four years old.

I started medical school when I was thirteen. You got it. I'm a fucking genius. IQ of one hundred and ninety-two. My senior thesis was published in  _Neurosurgery_  when I was eighteen. I finished school fourteen years later at twenty-seven and moved back to Japan to work in Tokyo. That's where I met Ichigo Kurosaki, the love of my life.

He was doing his residency in cardiovascular surgery. We met when he ran into me while he was rushing around running errands for the prickhole of a head cardiovascular surgeon, Byakuya Kuchiki. He immediately started sputtering apologies, but I just smiled. Told him he was cute. The blush that he got was priceless, and slightly disturbing. How the hell someone could turn that shade of red is still a mystery to me.

We had our first date a week later. I took him to a restaurant that I frequented since the owner, Ulquiorra Cifer, was a really good friend of mine. I reserved the whole place for us and we spent the night getting to know each other, and once it was time for me to take Ichigo home, I was smitten. He was genuinely amazing, and I loved everything about him. He was smart, funny, and fucking gorgeous; everything I wanted and more.

He was a few years younger than me, and some of the senior residents didn't approve of our relationship, but I wouldn't want to lie to you and say I gave a flying fuck. You know, cause I didn't. What we had was between us, and I'd be damned if I let someone tell me what the fuck to do. I made the calls. I made the rules. I was the one who was in charge of my fucking life, and if I wanted something, I got it. Simple as that.

But for all the good I do for people as a surgeon, I have just as much awful shit that I do too. I'm not the person that Ichigo or anyone else thinks I am.

My name is Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, M.D., Ph.D, also known as Sexta. And I'm the leader of F6, an infamous yakuza clan.

I take it you're surprised to learn this information. Well, keep it to yourself. I don't want to risk Ichigo finding out. He's kind of prudish for a twenty-nine year old, and I don't think he'd take the news very well.

You probably want to know how I ended up as the leader of a yakuza clan. Eh, I got time I guess. Let me spin you a little tale.

* * *

It started with my father. He was a dipshit idiot and I fucking hated him with the intensity of a thousand white suns. He was a douchebag of epic proportions who abused my mother and me. And he was the original leader of F6, the original Sexta.

I grew up on our estate in Kyoto with my adoptive brother, Nnoitra. We didn't really interact much until we hit middle school, but after that we were really close. Both of us protecting our mother from our father. I was surrounded by security most of the time, and I didn't really get out much. I spent most of my time in my suite reading. Guess that's how I got to be so smart. I'd read anything, fiction, nonfiction, encyclopedias, scientific journals. Yeah, I didn't really have much else to do, so don't fucking judge me. I got really interested in neuroscience when I was eight, so I put all my focus onto it, learning all I could about it.

The human brain really is an interesting organ. Just like the hard drive of a computer. The body can't function without the brain. The brain of a human is about three times the size of a chimpanzee's brain when measured using the encephalization quotient, which compensates for body size, even though it has basically the same functions and uses. This is probably due to the cerebral cortex, especially...oh damn, sorry. Talk about peanut gallery, huh?

Anyway, back to the story of my "rise to power".

So by the time I was ten, my father was trying to train me to take over for him one day. I was already trained in many forms of martial arts, including kendo and jujutsu, but it wasn't about self-defense or protecting others. He was teaching me to kill.

He would force me to spar with his minions, which he called his Fracción, until I was too exhausted to move. It was like that everyday. I once asked him why it had to be me, when Nnoitra was older and obviously enjoyed fighting more than I did. He slapped me across the face, telling me never to question him. I didn't anymore, although one of his Fracción, a tall man by the name of Shawlong, told me why it had to be me. It was because I was his biological son, his true flesh and blood. I'd never wished to be born into a different family before that day. But after that, it was all I ever wished for.

I graduated from high school when I was twelve and decided that I wanted to go to medical school. You won't believe the fucking fight I had to put up to be allowed to go to America for university. Literally. I had to defeat each member of my father's Fracción, plus Nnoitra, and my father himself. Something about me proving that I had what it took to leave and not forget where I came from. What the fuck ever. That made no damn sense to me, but I did it. It was worth it to be able to become a neurosurgeon. I defeated them all, but not without taking a few injuries. I still have a rather large scar going from the top of my chest to the bottom from my fight with Nnoi. But like I said, it was all worth it.

I went to America, but not without security. Of course my father had his goons follow me. I was okay with it since one of them was Shawlong. But the rest got a roundhouse kick to the face almost everyday for pissing me off one way or another, making me look fucking weak by following me around all the time. Fucking boobs.

Anyway, I got the call when I was twenty-two. My father had been killed in an altercation with a rival clan. Big fucking surprise. I flew back to Japan for the funeral, but I didn't stay. Like I was going to give up med school for that shit. You must've lost your scalp.

So I stayed in America until my neurological residency was done and then I moved back to Tokyo. Needless to say the clan was unhappy with me for "abandoning" them. What the fuck ever. I didn't ask to be their leader. I didn't ask to be born. But I guess they were all too stupid to comprehend that. Nnoi was the only one who seemed to get it. Of course he wanted to take over and I was more than willing to let him, but the clan wasn't having it. So I was bled in as their official leader at twenty-seven.

That probably doesn't make sense to you, so I'll explain. The way a leader is sworn in in F6 is by the Blood Promise. It's a short ritual in which the prospective leader's wrist or hand is cut open and the rest of the clan drinks a small amount of his blood, promising to remain loyal to the aforementioned leader because his blood is now flowing through their veins and all that noise. Kind of vampiric, right? Well we're not vampires, and I didn't make that rule. I actually was quite avidly against it, but there wasn't much I could do about it. I also had to get a tattoo, but I'd rather not even talk about that.

So after those things, I took over F6. Let's say changes were made. Number one. Fuck the illegal shit. I had ways to quadruple our revenue without even touching an illegal substance. It's called  _investment_. I know, right? I'd never heard of it beforehand either (just so you know, I'm rolling my eyes). By my second year as Sexta, F6 owned half of Tokyo, and without distributing a single ounce of an illegal substance.

Number two. Don't kill motherfuckers who owe you money. I never understood that method. If you kill the SOB, how the hell will you get your money? So I don't kill people who borrow money from F6. I just make them wish they were dead if they don't pay it back within the allotted time. Believe me, a motherfucker will pay you back really fast if you break his hand, burn him with acid, or shoot him in the leg with a nailgun.

Number three. Legalize the bitches. Yeah, you know damn well what I'm talking about. Brothels. F6 owned at least four in Tokyo alone. Businessmen, attorneys, athletes, musicians. They all came flocking to F6 brothels because I only hired the best. And I collected all the revenue from their seedy rendezvous. Prostitution is the world's oldest profession. Besides assassination, at least.

So I've been leading F6 for seven years now. Five of those seven years, I've been with Ichigo. He has no idea who I really am or what I really do. Of course I still perform surgery and conduct research at the hospital, but that's during the day. I have the director of the hospital, Szayelaporro Granz, in my back pocket so that Ichigo almost always works the night shift and I can conduct my business without him finding out. I know if he does, he'll try to find a way to make me stop, and won't understand why I can't. He's always been really...what's the word? Chivalrous? Yeah, I'll go with that. His name can be vaguely translated as 'one who protects' and he takes that shit seriously. I still call him 'strawberry' though, just to piss him off.

Another reason for me keeping my other life a secret is that I don't want Ichigo to get involved. This might sound mushy or whatever, but he means the world to me. If I ever lost him...

"Boss, we gotta take care of some business downtown." one of my Fracción, Di Roy says.

"Alright." Well, I guess that means I'll have to finish the story later. Or you can just watch it play out yourself. Whatever. I got business to take care of.

* * *

This is the fucking business I was interrupted for? Seriously? Is there not a single intelligent person in this fucking clan? Oh yeah, there is. Me.

"And what the fuck is this faggotry?" I ask in annoyance. I look at the severely beaten man in front of me. He kind of looks like a bruised banana. I chuckle a bit at that thought.

"He tried to get off without paying Harribel." Di Roy says. I nod as if I'm pondering the thought. Harribel. Yeah, that's a nice one. Quite expensive. Well worth it though, if you ask me. If I didn't have Ichigo, I'd make her my personal bitch. But back to the matter at hand.

An hour with Harribel comes to about two hundred fifty thousand yen. That's a little over two thousand US dollars. Could I stand to lose that? Probably. Will I? Hell to the no.

You can't let motherfuckers get away with shit. Not even small shit like this. Because once you do, they think they got you wrapped around their little finger and they try to get more from you. So this idiot is about to learn his lesson Sexta style.

I remove my jacket and give it to Di Roy. It's Armani, and very expensive and I refuse to allow it to be soiled by the blood of some random moron.

"What's your name, imbecile?" I ask as I don my favorite set of brass knuckles. He doesn't answer me as quickly as I want him to, and so he gets punished for it. I tsk as he spits about four of his teeth onto the floor. "I do not have all day, sir. Your name please?"

"Kariya. Jin Kariya." he says, as blood seeps from his mouth. Why does that name sound so familiar?

"You own Jokaisho Research Institute, don't you?" I ask. Kariya nods. "Well, well, well. Who knew such a distinguished researcher had a taste for brown sugar?"

Di Roy and two of my other Fracción, Yammy and Aaroniero, erupt with laughter. It ceases when I raise my hand.

"You're an intelligent man, Kariya. You can understand why I'm unhappy right now, can't you?" I ask. Kariya frowns.

"Fuck you." he says. I crack a smirk that I'm sure looks positively feral.

"No thanks. You're not really my type, and I don't bottom for anybody." With that, I punch him again, satisfied with the sounds the bones in his nose make as they crack. He curses and I continue to smirk. "It seems you don't want to cooperate, Kariya. Di Roy here really did you a favor by calling me. My brother, Nnoitra, wouldn't be half as generous as I am."

His eyes widen at the mention of Nnoi's name. An expected response. Nnoi isn't as low key as I am. He's about as loud, torturous, and sadistic as they come. He's called Quinto, because he's my right hand. He's rather creepy looking in my opinion since he's about seven feet tall and skinnier than a Russian supermodel. He kind of reminds me of a cross between a pirate and a preying mantis. The pirate analogy comes from the eyepatch that he wears to cover his left eye; ever seen that movie Kill Bill? Well, our father really liked it and decided to test one of the moves on Nnoi when he was eleven.

There's a reason for Nnoi's sadistic nature. Being adopted into the clan, he's never felt truly accepted, like he always has to prove his strength. He's always fighting, even to this day. I don't think he'll ever understand that he's the only person I truly trust. Besides Ichigo of course.

But back to the matter at hand. I've grown bored with this activity. I am a genius, but I have a short attention span when it comes to fucking nonsense. I remove the brass knuckles and hand them to Aaroniero.

"Dispose of him, Yammy. But not before you get the title to his business. My research on spina bifida could benefit from such prestigious resources."

"Yes, Sexta." I hear Yammy cracking his knuckles as Di Roy escorts me from the room. Kariya should have cooperated.

I look at the vintage Rolex on my wrist. Shit. Ichigo has the night off tonight and I'm fucking late thanks to this tomfoolery. Oh well. I'll just have to make up something.

"Home, Nakeem." I instruct my driver. No use keeping Ichigo waiting any longer.

* * *

I open the door to my penthouse and smile. Ichigo made dinner. Haha, he's such a wife. He hates it when I say that though.

"Welcome home, Grimm." he says. He smiles at me, though it doesn't seem right. Something's wrong.

"Alright, tell me what's wrong." I order, as I sit down at the table. Ichigo stays silent as he sets my dinner in front of me. I follow his actions with my eyes. "I'm just gonna keep asking until you tell me."

"Fine. There's a little girl in my ward. Her name is Ururu. She's got a defect, but Granz moved her to the bottom of the waiting list because her family doesn't have insurance anymore. I can't do anything else for her. Without a transplant, she'll be dead by next week."

I watch Ichigo as he speaks, and it makes me want to fucking murder Szayel. To know that Ichigo, my Ichigo, is so upset because of the faggotry of that pink-haired idiot pisses me off to no end.

"I'll take care of it." I say, without hesitation. Ichigo looks at me like I've gone bat-shit crazy. "Don't give me that look. She needs a heart and I have money. Don't worry about it Ichi. I'll talk to Granz tomorrow."

He smiles again and this time it's genuine. That's what I like to see. I love everything about Ichigo, but it's his smile that I treasure the most. Not very many people get to see it, since most of the time he's scowling. But when he graces you with that smile of his once in a blue moon, you're captured instantly. Being the reason behind his smile is enough to keep me happy for a lifetime.

"You don't have to do that, Grimm." he says. I roll my eyes.

"Give it a rest, Ichigo. I've already made up my mind, so you better prepare yourself to give that girl her new heart."

Ichigo continues to smile as he walks towards me. He wraps his arms around my shoulders from behind and kisses my cheek.

"How is it that we've been together for five years and you still amaze me everyday?" he asks. I scoff.

"Because I'm awesome. Duh."

"Hardy har har." Ichigo kisses my cheek again and returns to his side of the table. He sits down and those big brown eyes bore into my blue ones making me inwardly squirm. "Why are you so late anyway?"

Shit. I knew this was coming, but I didn't have time to think up an excuse. Let's see, what seems plausible for me to get home an hour and a half late?

"Had to meet Nnoi to visit my mother. Sorry, guess I forgot to tell you I was going to see her today." I add a shrug for emphasis. Ichigo doesn't look like he's buying it, but that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

"I've never met your mother and I've only seen Nnoi once. Why don't you want me around your family?" he asks. Goddammit. "Is it because I'm so much younger than you?"

I roll my eyes at this statement. I am not fucking old!

"No, Ichi. It's just that my family is...it's complicated. Can we not talk about this right now?" I plead. Ichigo purses his lips but doesn't push it. I sigh and concentrate on my dinner. The silence that's descended upon us is disconcerting. "How are your sisters?"

"Yuzu is studying design in Paris and Karin is going to medical school in America. I thought I told you that already." he responds. He has, I just needed to break the silence. "Guess your memory just isn't what it used to be, huh old man?"

I give Ichigo a deadpan expression.

"Careful with that joke. It's an antique." I say, snidely. I immediately regret it as a grin cracks Ichigo's face.

"So are you." he says, erupting with laughter. Real mature. Guess I walked right into that one.

"Nice." I say in a bored tone. I sigh and finish my dinner before moving to the kitchen to wash the dishes. I tense when I feel his arms wrap around my waist. I'm not mad at him. I just want him to think I am so he'll feel guilty.

He slips his warm hands under my shirt and caresses my abdomen. I act like I'm not affected. He continues with his molestation and I continue washing the dishes; his hands slide to the buckle of my belt.

"Grimm..." he purrs my name seductively as he removes the belt. Oh he is so not getting off that easily. "C'mon, you can't be mad at me for that."

"Who said I was mad?" I tease, turning to face him. He scowls and crosses his arms over his chest.

"Not my fault you're a hundred years old." he mumbles petulantly. I shake my head and turn back towards the sink. Seriously, I am five years older than him! "Sorry, I'm just teasing, babe."

I don't respond as Ichigo kisses my neck softly. Alright, he's treading on thin ice. His hands return to the button of my slacks and he makes quick work of it. I continue with my unaffected façade, though I almost lose it when he starts to fondle my semi-hard member through the fabric of my boxers. Shit, now I'm hard.

"I think I'm too old to have sex in the kitchen." I say, surprised at how nonchalant I sound. Guess that's why I've never lost a poker game. Ichigo doesn't seem affected by my attitude as he grabs my shoulders and turns me to face him. He kisses my lips softly at first and then his tongue snakes out trying to deepen the kiss. I'm not having it though. He pulls away giving me a defiant glare.

"Are you really mad at me?" he asks. I just smirk, leaning against the sink.

"Seething." I say, evenly. Ichigo continues to glower and then he smirks too.

"Fine. I guess I'll just have to find some way to quell your raging fury." He reaches inside my boxers and my breath hitches when his warm hand encircles my length. "Happy now?"

"Not yet." I tease, kissing his lips. He lowers himself to his knees in front of me and gives a languid lick to my dick. I suck in a breath and grab a handful of that surprisingly insanely soft orange hair. "Fuck, Ichi..."

I try my best to keep from bucking into his mouth like a crazed animal, but the intensity of his hot, wet mouth surrounding me is insane. His tongue glides up the underside of my cock and he takes in more of it until I feel myself against the back of his throat. I growl lowly, as the sensations turn my brain to mush and I feel myself on the edge of release. The lewd slurping sounds he's making as he deep throats me aren't helping either. Well, this sucks. Maybe I am old.

I let out a noise, somewhere between a moan and a sigh as I cum in Ichigo's mouth. He swallows almost gracefully and returns to his full height kissing me softly.

"Well, I know you're happy now." he says, cheekily. Cute.

* * *

I step into Szayel's office, making certain to appear pissed the fuck off. Because I am. Szayel looks up at me over the top of his glasses as if I'm annoying him by walking in. The fucking cunt.

"Can I help you, Jaegerjaquez?" he asks. I narrow my gaze.

"I'm Sexta, right now, fuck-face." I growl. He takes the hint and lowers the haughtiness. "Where the fuck do you get off making Ichigo so upset by refusing treatment to a little girl because her family can't pay?"

"I don't have time for this,  _Sexta_." Szayel says with a twinge of smartass. I resist the urge to wrap my hands around his scrawny ass neck. I lean over the desk and tower above him.

"Fucking make time, you ass. Put the girl at the top of the damn list and I won't skin you alive." I growl. Szayel sneers at me, but turns towards his computer. His fingers fly across the keyboard and after a second, he hits the enter key with more force than necessary. He turns the monitor towards me with attitude.

"There, Tsumugiya Ururu is set for surgery three days from now. Happy now, Sexta?" I smile wryly.

"Now, was that so hard, Director Granz?" Szayel scowls and returns his attention to the paperwork littering his desk.

"Get out of my office, Jaegerjaquez." he says. I flash a million dollar smile and turn to leave.

"A pleasure doing business with you as always. Oh, by the way; talk to me like that again, and you'll be fishing those glasses out of your tight little anus." I hear Szayel gulp audibly before I leave the office. Once I'm a good ways down the hallway, I take out my phone and call Ichi.

"Grimm, aren't you supposed to be working?" Ichigo asks as a greeting. I chuckle a little at his tone. He's so cute when he's worried about me. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, Ichi. I just wanted to give you the good news early."

"What is it?"

"I just got done talking to Granz and the little girl you were worried about has been moved to the top of the waiting list. She's scheduled for surgery in three days." I hear Ichigo gasp and his smile is evident in his voice as he responds.

"Wow, you weren't kidding, were you? Thanks so much, Grimm. This will mean a lot to her family, and it really means the world to me."

"I'd do anything for you, Ichi." I say. I know he's blushing on the other end.

"I love you." he says, softly. I smile as I take a file from one of the nurses.

"I love you too, Ichi." I'm about to speak again before a tone signaling an incoming call goes off. I look at my phone and frown. This must be something serious for this monkey to be calling my personal phone. "Ichi, I'll talk to you later okay?"

"Are you sure everything's alright, Grimm?"

"Yeah. Bye." I switch lines before he responds. I'll make it up to him later; this is business. I duck into my office before speaking again. "To what do I owe the honor, Shirosaki?"

I hear a scoff from the other end before Shiro's gravely voice comes through the speaker. He doesn't sound happy.

"We got a problem, Sexta." He only calls me that when shit is serious. "I had Hanatarou go through the statements and shit is not looking right." I am immediately interested.

"Shit like what?" I ask.

"Shit like there's about thirty-two thousand missing from the revenue of Seireitei." he responds. The fuck?

Seireitei is F6's most popular brothel. It's in the downtown area of Tokyo and houses some of our finest merchandise, including a one Rangiku who brings in about a million yen a week alone. Needless to say it's pretty important when it comes to revenue. Thirty-two thousand might not seem like a lot, but that's not the point. The point is someone's stealing my fucking money. Whoever has the fucking balls to steal from me better be prepared to lose them.

"I'm sending Nnoi over right now and I'll be there as soon as I can find someone to cover for me." I say.

"Alright, but you better hurry the fuck up because Seireitei isn't the only thing missing revenue."

I hang up the phone and resist the urge to throw it. How the hell did I not notice this shit? Someone's stealing my money right under my nose, and I didn't even notice. I dial Nnoi's number and fume as I wait for him to answer.

"Something the problem, Blue Panther?" he asks, snarkily. I don't have time for his bullshit right now so I ignore the hated nickname.

"I need you at headquarters in the accounting department. Someone's stealing my fucking money." I say, irritably. Nnoi makes a tsk sound.

"I'm there." He hangs up and I prepare to leave my office when there's a light knock on my door.

"What?" I call out. The door opens and one of the nurses, Nemu I think that's her name, comes in.

"Doctor Jaegerjaquez, one of your patients has flatlined." she says, quietly. My eyes widen. Seven years as a surgeon and I've never lost a patient. "Doctor Ishida has been trying to revive him, but I'm afraid..."

"Well, that's too bad. Tell Ishida to give the TOD. I have some other business to attend to." I say, shortly. I push her out of the office and shut the door behind me.

"But Doctor, you have to..."

"I don't have time to deal with this right now. I have more pressing matters. Tell Granz I'm out for the day."

"Yes sir." Nemu says. She bows slightly before scurrying off in the opposite direction.

I don't have time to sulk over losing a patient right now. That'll have wait until I'm at home and Ichi's there. I'll never break down unless it's in front of him. No one is allowed to see my pain; they'll mistake my pain for weakness, and I cannot be seen as weak. I am a god among men, and gods have no room for weaknesses.

* * *

I walk into the accounting department of F6 headquarters and I'm greeted by the sound of bones cracking under pressure. A cackle that is disconcerting to lesser men resounds through the room and I know Shiro has found the culprit responsible for the missing revenue.

I guess you'd like to know about Shiro. He's not that hard to explain. He's a creepy looking albino with black and gold eyes. The weird thing is he'd be really attractive if he wasn't a dangerous sociopath. Oh hell yes, Shiro is insane and if I ever found myself on the other end of his wrath, I'd probably kill myself before I let him get near me. Shiro's been my friend for almost as long as Nnoi, except unlike with Nnoi, I actually liked Shiro from the moment we met. Most people didn't like him because of his strange appearance, but I have no room to talk when it comes to having a strange appearance. He's brash, cynical, sarcastic and an asshole, but so am I, so we get along well. Especially when there's business to be taken care of.

I watch Shiro land punch after punch to the face of some dude I've never seen before. Does he even work here?

"That's enough, Shiro. He has to be alive to answer our questions." I state evenly. The albino tsks before punching the other man one last time. I direct my gaze at Nnoi who's standing in the corner smoking a cigarette. "This the person who's been stealing my money?"

"No, but he works for the motherfucker who's stealing your money." Nnoi responds. I raise an eyebrow and return my attention to the severely pummeled man currently squirming under Shiro's gaze.

"What's your name?" I ask. The man scowls before spitting his blood in my direction. I side-step before it reaches me. "Shiro."

Shiro's creepy grin stretches across his face before he pulls a small vial out of his pocket. The man watches silently as Shiro twists the cap open revealing a small dropper. Ah, the Shirosaki Special. Shiro whistles as he fills the dropper with what can only be hydrochloric acid. Both Nnoi and I take a few steps back because we fucking know what's good for us.

"Ya got three seconds to state your name before you're permanently blinded with this HCl. It's not a very quick process. The acid will completely corrode your cornea and you'll feel each and every second of the pain. So, one..."

The man seems to be weighing his options as Shiro stares fondly at his beloved HCl. Fucking psychopath.

"Two..."

The man's eyes dart around the room and he starts to struggle against the binds holding him to the chair. Shiro's hand moves toward his face and he panics.

"Ggio! My name is Ggio Vega!" he yells. Shiro continues to hold the acid near his face. He looks over at me.

"What do ya say, Grimm? He did spit at ya?" I bring a finger to my chin in pensivity.

"A little on the hand wouldn't hurt I suppose. Well, not me anyways." I say, with a grin. Shiro cackles as Ggio screams in agony as the acid eats away at the skin of his hand. God, that smells. "Now, Ggio, I need your help."

I take a knee in front of the man who is biting his swollen bottom lip to hold back his cries. I shake my head.

"I need you to help me, help you. I don't want to see you in this kind of pain, but when you disrespect me, there are retributions. Now you and your boss have disrespected me. If you don't want to accept all of the retributions, you need to tell me right now who you work for."

For a moment, Ggio doesn't respond. He just stares at me with his one good ridiculously large golden eye. Then he opens his mouth and the name of his boss comes out.

"Sosuke Aizen."

Well, shit. Haven't heard that name in about ten years. He seemingly dropped off the face of the earth a while back after the confrontation that killed my father. I guess the irony of it all is that he used to be a part of F6. He was nearly my father's second-in-command until he betrayed the clan by claiming some of our territory as his own. I never understood why he wasn't killed on the spot, but I guess my father didn't see him as a threat. Well I do. He's an even bigger sociopath than Shiro, and he's definitely not on my side. I'm not afraid of him; I'm just not fucking stupid.

"I knew it!" Nnoi yells. I rise to my full height and pace.

"What do you want me to do, Sexta?" Shiro asks. I run a hand through my hair and stop pacing. "Ya gonna just let 'im go?"

I direct my attention at Ggio. Fear is evident in his eyes. Poor kid. He's so young. Only looks to be about nineteen or twenty at best. Tough luck.

"I have the information I need. Kill him." I say, and I leave the room with Nnoi in tow.

* * *

By the time I make it home, Ichigo's about to leave for his shift at the hospital. He's smiling when I walk in, but his smile fades when he looks at my face. I tried to hide my distress, but I should have known he'd see through it; I can't hide anything from Ichigo. I'm surprised he hasn't figured out my secret yet.

"Grimm, what's wrong?" he asks, helping me out of my jacket. Obviously I can't tell him everything. But he's not gonna let up if I say it's nothing. I make my way into the living room and sit down on the couch. Ichigo squats in front of me, his big brown eyes searching for answers.

"I lost a patient today. The first one I've ever lost." I say. That does bother me, but it's not what's pissing me off the most right now.

"I'm so sorry, Grimm. What happened?" he asks. Well shit if I know. I left before I could even find out which patient it was.

"I don't really know, but I guess I made a mistake. I don't really want to talk about it." I say, hoping Ichigo will get the point and let up. He does, and that's why I love him so damn much. He stands and runs his hand through my hair, letting it come to a stop on my cheek.

"I'll be here whenever you do want to talk about it." He leans down and kisses me gently. "I have to go. Granz called me and he seems pissed about something. I'll call you when I get my first break." I nod and watch him leave.

I am such a fucking liar. I lay my head back on the couch and close my eyes. I just remembered that I have to visit my mother for real tomorrow. I guess it'd be as good a time as any for Ichi to meet her. She'll be dead soon anyway.

My mother is Helena Jaegerjaquez. She's German and she was a supermodel before she met my father. He brought her back here to Japan when she was nineteen and they got married. Of course beforehand she had no idea he was yakuza, but when she found out, it was too late for her to go back. Plus, she was already in love with the bastard. I still don't understand how someone like my mother could love someone like my father; then again, I do. Aren't I just like my father? I'm basically the same person and Ichigo loves me. I don't know if he would still love me if he knew the real me, but one can hope.

Anyway, back to my mother. She's been sick for about eight years now. No doctors have been able to pinpoint an exact illness; it's always something different. Her immune system is shot to hell and so she catches every little thing from a cold to influenza. There's nothing that can be done about it so I don't stress it. I mean, I am sad or whatever, but there's nothing I can do except do my best to take care of her while she's still alive. My musings are interrupted by the sound of my phone vibrating.

"What?" I answer, irritably.

"Yo, got some good news and a lot of bad news." Nnoi says, nonchalantly. "Which would you like to hear first?"

"Bad."

"Alright, the bad news is, none of the techs can pinpoint an exact time that revenue started disappearing. It seems that there's some kind of program that's running that transfers money from our revenue into another account. And Zommari is dead. Guess Aizen wasn't too happy about us taking out his little sheep." I roll my eyes. Good fucking grief.

"Alright. What's the good news?"

"Good news is we got a hold on the program and no more revenue is being lost. They just haven't found a way to get the other revenue back."

"Well, tell them to get to work! I want fucking results by tomorrow!" I yell. I don't usually get loud with Nnoi, and I know it's not his fault, but all of this shit is pissing me the fuck off.

"Alright, chill, little bro. Techs're working on it as we speak. We still going to the estate tomorrow?" he asks.

"Yeah. I'm bringing Ichigo."

"I don't think mom can eat strawberries, Grimm." Nnoi cackles on the other end when I sigh.

"You know damn well who I'm talking about, you stick-figure looking motherfucker. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bitches better find my money."

"Yeah, yeah. King Kong ain't got nothin on you." He continues to laugh and I hang up. Idiot.

* * *

"Grimm, why did we drive to Kyoto?" Ichigo asks. God, he's like a fucking six-year-old bouncing in his seat as we speed down the freeway. It was cute at first, but this is a five hour drive. I wish he'd just drink his juice and take a nap.

"It's a surprise. That is an unexpected or astonishing event, fact, or thing, and to tell you why we are driving to Kyoto would defeat the purpose of it being a surprise." I say, matter-of-factly. Ichigo isn't impressed.

"Bite me." he says, petulantly. I give him a lopsided grin and wiggle my eyebrows.

"Oh, I will later." He punches my arm and blushes. I laugh boisterously and take the final turn to get to the estate. I pull up at the gate and watch Ichigo's expression. Priceless.

"Welcome home, Jaegerjaquez-sama." The guard says. I nod and he opens the gate. I drive up the circular driveway and park in front of the stairs that lead to the front door. Ichigo seems to be stunned silent. He looks so cute all drop-jawed and buck-eyed.

I unbuckle my seatbelt and his and poke his shoulder playfully. He turns to me with his mouth still open.

"What is...? Who's...? Why are...? You..." he stammers. I laugh at his reaction.

"This is my family's estate, Ichi. You're going to meet my mother today." He looks mildly horrified and excited at the same time. I think he should have been an actor instead of a heart surgeon. I get out of the car and toss my keys to one of the butlers that's showed up. I walk to the trunk and pull out both my overnight bag and Ichigo's and then I open the passenger door for him. He crosses his arms over his chest. He looks good and pissed. "Oh, c'mon, Ichi, you're not mad are you?"

"Of course I'm mad! You didn't fucking tell me I was going to meet your mother! I look so stupid!" he yells once he's out of the car. I chuckle a bit at his overreaction; he does look a bit like a delinquent with his tight black skinny jeans, equally tight white v-neck shirt, unbuttoned black vest, and all black high top Converse. I think he doesn't realize he's almost thirty years old.

"Don't worry about it, Ichi. My mom doesn't care about stuff like that." I say, handing our bags to another butler that has appeared to escort us inside. I reach for his hand and he pouts as he takes mine. I shake my head as we ascend the stairs and go inside the mansion.

"Will your guest be staying in your suite, Jaegerjaquez-sama?" the butler asks. I nod and he bows before disappearing down the adjacent corridor. Ichigo lets go of my hand and crosses the foyer towards the large portrait of my family that's on the wall above the set of double doors that leads to my mother's suite. It's one of those cliché family portraits with my father sitting in an armchair and my mother and Nnoi standing on either side of him with me on the floor in front. The only person smiling is my mother.

"Those are your parents?" he asks. I cross the room to stand next to him.

"Yeah." I don't have much to say about this picture, but Ichigo has a lot of questions.

"How old were you?"

"Seven."

"What are your parents names?"

"Akihiko and Helena."

"Is Nnoitra adopted?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you smile?"

"Because I wasn't happy."

"Oh." Silence descends upon us and I continue to stare at the picture. My mother might be smiling, but her eyes are dead. Just like they are now.

"Come on, I think Nnoi is here too." I say, taking his hand again. I push the doors open and we walk through. Ichigo stays quiet as I lead him towards my mother's room. Once we're in front of her door, I stop. I pick up two surgical masks from the box that's next to the door and hand one of them to Ichigo. "You have to put this on before you go in. And use some hand sanitizer too." Ichigo nods and does what I told him. Once we're ready, I give a quick knock and the door is opened by one of my mother's nurses, Retsu.

"Hello, Jaegerjaquez-sama and...guest." she says, giving Ichigo an incredulous look.

"Retsu, this is Ichigo, Ichi this is Retsu." I say. Retsu's disposition changes immediately and she shakes Ichigo's hand, smiling brightly.

"Oh, so you're the mysterious love of Jaegerjaquez-sama's life? Wow, you certainly are gorgeous." It's hidden by the mask but I can tell Ichigo is blushing. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

"Nice to meet you too." Ichigo responds. Retsu steps aside and we walk into the room. Nnoi steps from the bathroom and smiles at us with his creeper-status grin.

"'Sup, little bro? This the strawberry you said you were bringing?" he asks. Ichigo glares at him.

"That's not what my name means, jerk." he growls. I roll my eyes and sigh.

"Ichi, this dumbass is Nnoi. We're not really related." I say. Nnoi sneers and smacks me upside the head. He's lucky Ichigo is here or I'd kick his ass for that. The three of us round the corner and come to a stop in front of my mother's bed.

Two nurses are fussing over her and she looks at us and smiles. She waves the nurses away and gestures for us to come to her bedside. I take Ichigo's hand and we walk to her right side while Nnoi stands on the left.

"Hey mama." I say. She places her small hand on top of mine and Ichigo's. It's insanely cold. "Dies ist Ichigo."

"Nett sie endlich kennenzulernen." Ichigo says. I look at him in shock. I had no idea he spoke German. My mom smiles even brighter. I take it she likes him.

"She can't speak today, Jaegerjaquez-sama. She has laryngitis." Retsu says. I nod.

"That's okay. I just wanted her to meet Ichi. We'll come back to talk to her again later." I say. "Bis dann, mama." Mom nods her head and we leave her with Nnoi.

Ichigo is quiet during the whole walk to my suite which is on the other side of the mansion. He seems lost in his thoughts. I brush my shoulder against his.

"What's wrong, Ichi?"

"Your mom. She's so sick. Why didn't you tell me?" he asks. I sigh.

"I didn't want you to worry about me like you are now. I know she's really sick so I'm not worrying about it. I'm just going to spend all the time I can with her while she's still here. No use crying and getting all worked up about it." Ichigo stops walking and hugs me.

"You don't have to be strong on your own, Grimm. I'll always be here for you."

"Thanks, Ichi."

I hug him back tightly. I wonder if he'll still be there for me if he finds out what I really am. I don't know if I'd want him to stay. In truth, I don't want to be strong. I want to scream, to yell, to cry but I can't. I can't break down; I'm not allowed to. It's been embedded in me to never break down. I couldn't break even if I tried.


	2. Laugh It All Off in Your Face...

_Chapter II_ _: Laugh It All Off in Your Face._

He's acting weird again. I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but it just does. We've been together for five years; he wouldn't cheat on me, right? I want to believe that, I really do, but...I don't know. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but I know something is up.

Take this morning for instance. I woke up in our suite alone. Well, at least I thought I was alone, but I started to listen and I realized Grimmjow was in the living room on the phone. Now I don't usually eavesdrop, because I'm not some insecure little bitch, but with the way he's been acting lately, I kind of wanted to hear the conversation. I got out of the bed and tiptoed out of the bedroom and stopped short of entering the living room.

"I don't care about that shit. While you're here giving me all this religious nonsense, where the fuck did that come from anyway, I'm losing money."

_Money? What the hell is he talking about?_

"She's got 'til next week to get rid of it or I will."

_Da fuh...? There's only one thing that makes sense in that context._

I don't want to believe it, but I think Grimmjow is cheating on me. That's the only explanation I can come up with for his suspicious behavior as of late. I sigh and head for the bathroom. No need to get all butt-hurt about it. I'll talk to him when he's in a better mood. If I've learned anything in the five years we've been together, it's that nothing productive comes out of a conversation with a pissed off Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez.

Once I took a shower and got dressed, I walked into the living room to find Grimmjow standing by the patio door, smoking a cigarette. He hasn't smoked in three years. Something is most definitely up. I walk up to him and touch his arm tentatively. He turns to me, blue eyes dull with fatigue and gives a half-hearted smile.

"Grimm, is everything okay?" I feel like I've asked that question more times this week than in our entire relationship. He nods his head and leans in for a kiss. I turn my head and his kiss lands on my cheek. "I don't want to taste your nicotine."

"Can't even remember the last time I had one of these." he says. He tosses the cigarette out the door and makes his way to the couch. I sit next to him. He doesn't seem so pissed anymore. Should I bring up what I heard?

"You didn't answer my question." I state. Grimmjow sighs, running a hand through his hair.

"I'm fine, Ichi. Stop worrying so much." he says. Well, excuse the fuck out of me for being just a little suspicious when my boyfriend fucking lies to me about coming home late, acts like he doesn't want to have sex with me, and rushes me off the phone. "You hungry?"

I just nod. He stands and gestures for me to follow him. We head out into the hallway. Grimmjow nods at butlers and maids as they bow to him, some mumbling, "Good morning, Jaegerjaquez-sama". That's another thing I've been wondering about. Why do they address him with that honorific as if he's a prince or something? There's no denying that he comes from money, but seriously, what the fuck?

And his mother. She's so sick; she looks like a skeleton, ghostly pale, cheeks hollow. Based on the portrait that's in the foyer and the one that's on Grimmjow's nightstand, she used to be extremely beautiful. I can tell where Grimmjow got his strange, exotic looks. Her hair is still long, but it's not the vibrant blue it used to be; it's more of a pastel blue and her eyes are dull and lifeless. When she touched my hand yesterday, I had to suppress the shiver that almost crept down my spine. She was so cold, as if no blood was circulating in her body at all. I know it hurts Grimmjow to see her that way. I could see it in his eyes when he looked at her. I don't know why he thinks he has to act like he's not affected by it. It's just not healthy to hold everything back. I'm not saying that I want him to just break down and cry like a little bitch, but I want him to know that it's okay to be vulnerable every once in a while. It's what keeps you sane.

"Ichi, are you coming?" I snap out of my thoughts and realize Grimmjow is at the other end of the corridor. I jog to meet him and we walk into a dining room that has a ridiculously long table spread with an assortment of foods. Nnoi sits at the end of the table, a cell phone pressed to his ear as he waves away a maid who's pouring him coffee. Seriously, who are these people, the fucking Kennedys?

Grimmjow takes my hand and walks to the unoccupied end of the table. He sits down and a butler comes over and pulls out my chair for me. What the fuck? I'm not a chick! I scowl before I realize that he's just trying to be nice, so I fix my face and sit down in the chair muttering a "thank you". The whole scenario seems to amuse Grimmjow and he chuckles. My scowl returns.

"What's so funny, butthead?" I ask, petulantly. He only laughs harder.

"Your face was ridiculous just now. What, you pissed that he pulled out your chair for you?" he asks. I don't respond, nor do I look at him. "It's just custom, Ichi. No one thinks you're a chick."

"Just...shut up." I mumble. Grimmjow continues to laugh as a timid maid with her hair in a severe looking bun approaches me.

"What would you like, Kurosaki-sama?" she asks. I raise an eyebrow. Is she trying to make my plate for me? And what's with the '-sama'? She looks at me expectantly and I continue to stare at her.

"Uh, you don't have to do that. I can get it myself." I say. She looks at Grimmjow, then at me, then back at Grimmjow.

"Just give him a little of everything, Momo." he says. The maid, or Momo, nods and starts to fill the plate that's in front of me with food. I don't like this at all. I frown at Grimmjow, who looks like he's annoyed again, as a different maid sets a full plate in front of him. I was going to comment, but I'm not going to bother. I'm not in the mood for a screaming match. Momo sets my plate down and I offer her a small smile.

"Thank you." I say, politely. She bows slightly.

"You're very welcome, Kurosaki-sama."

"You can call me Ichigo." Momo looks at Grimmjow again and he sighs before nodding slightly.

"If it would please you, Ichigo-sama." she says, before hurrying off through some double doors that probably lead to the kitchen.

"I don't know why you're making such a big deal of this, Ichi. It's what they get paid for." Grimmjow states nonchalantly.

"Sorry, I'm just not used to having my ass kissed constantly." I say, sharply.

"Oh, and you think I am?" Grimmjow asks, heatedly. See, this is why I didn't want to say anything. I sigh.

"That's not what I meant at all. I'm sorry I said that." Grimmjow doesn't respond and a deafening silence falls over us. It's broken by a loud curse that comes from Nnoi's direction.

"What the fuck are you doing, girl?" he yells. The small maid who'd served Grimmjow bows multiple times, muttering apologies as Nnoitra wipes at his shirt with a napkin. She tries to assist, but he puts his bony hand across her face and pushes her away. "Fuck outta here."

I frown at the display. I don't think that was necessary in the slightest. I turn back to Grimmjow who is still eating like nothing happened. I've suddenly lost my appetite. I don't think I like Nnoitra very much at all.

* * *

I'm wandering around the mansion now and I feel like I'm being followed. I don't know why, it's just a feeling. I pause in my stride and look over my shoulder. I don't see anything, but I know someone's there. I hear shuffling footsteps and I shift into a defensive stance. All those years getting attacked by my crazy ass father taught me to keep my guard up in situations like these.

"Who's there?" I ask, incredulously. It's quiet for a minute, so I let my guard back down and then I gasp as a little blur of green knocks me to the floor.

"Oh, who are you? I'm Nel, I like your hair, what's your name? Are you a friend of Grimmy?" It's a little girl. She looks about five or six at most and she's speaking German at an alarmingly fast pace, and goddamnit, she's drooling all over me.

"I'm Ichigo. Nice to meet you." I say, nudging her off of me.

"Nel is so happy to meet you, Itsygo. Would you like to come for a tea party with me and Auntie?" she asks. I really don't want to, but she's got the biggest, cutest hazel eyes and I simply can't say no so I nod. I stand and she grabs my hand and pulls me in the direction of Grimmjow's mother's suite. "Are you Grimmy's  _special_  friend, Itsygo?"

Is this five-year-old insinuating what I think she's insinuating?

"I think we're here." I say, in a desperate attempt to evade that question. Nel lets go of my hand and raps on the door with her little fist. The door opens and Retsu smiles down at the little green-haired girl.

"Nel is here to have tea time with Auntie." she says. "Itsygo is going to have tea with us too, okay, Miss Retsu?"

Retsu nods and continues to smile. She picks up a surgical mask and hands it to me and situates another one onto Nel's face. We walk into the suite where a table with tea and cookies has been set. Oh damn, this is serious. Nel scurries over to Helena's bedside, rattling off in her quick-paced German.

"Retsu-san, if I may ask, who is she?"

"She's Jaegerjaquez-sama's second cousin. She is the granddaughter of Helena-sama's sister. Her mother died a year ago, and she has been staying here for about six months. Did Jaegerjaquez-sama not inform you of her presence?" Retsu asks. I shake my head. It seems there's a lot that Grimmjow doesn't tell me. "Well, I'm sure it just slipped his mind. He is rather fond of her, though he doesn't like to show it."

I just nod. I'm slowly starting to realize that I don't know shit about my boyfriend of five years. What else is he hiding from me?

"Are you coming, Itsygo?" Nel asks as she and Helena look at me expectantly. I make my way to the other side of the bed and look down at the two of them. Helena looks to be a little better today, as she talks with Nel quietly. Well, Helena's quiet, not Nel. Helena directs her attention at me and she smiles.

"I'm very sorry I wasn't able to speak with you yesterday, Ichigo. I'm so happy to finally meet you as well. Grimmjow talks about you all the time when he comes to visit." she says. Her voice is quiet and has a raspy tone to it; it's kind of like the feminine version of Grimmjow's voice.

"Well, I hope it's only good things." I say with a smile. It's the only thing I can think of since Grimmjow told me next to nothing about her. Helena gestures toward the table.

"Please sit. Nel and I have this little tea party every day. We don't have guests often though. Nel, be a good host now and give Ichigo some tea." she says. Nel trots to the table where I've sat down and picks up the small tea pot and pours some of the liquid into the cup that's in front of me.

"Would you like one lump or two, Itsygo?" she asks. I smile down at her.

"Make that three." I say. Nel giggles before dropping three sugar cubes into my cup. Helena chuckles lightly.

"So, Ichigo. Grimmjow told me you're a cardiovascular surgeon." She accepts a cup of tea from Nel before ruffling the little girl's hair. I nod. "And you have two younger sisters and your father lives in Karakura?"

"Right again. I'm sorry I can't offer much prior knowledge about you. It seems Grimmjow has kept me in the dark about a lot of things." The statement comes out a little bit more bitter than I'd intended it to, but I can't take it back now. Helena just nods her head slightly.

"I see. Well, Grimmjow has been that way since he was young, always extremely secretive and guarded. But when you're brought up in this kind of environment, it comes with the territory." She sighs and sips from her tea slowly. This kind of environment? What does she mean by that? I'm about to ask her when Grimmjow bursts into the room.

"Ichigo, damn, I couldn't find you anywhere!" he says loudly.

"Grimmy!" Nel yells, before tackling his legs almost causing him to fall over. Grimmjow scowls down at her, but I can see the humor in his eyes.

"Get off me you damn mutt!" Nel laughs as Grimmjow tickles her relentlessly. I can't help but crack a smile of my own at the sound of her laughter. He gives her a noogie before releasing her; she runs to Helena's bedside and climbs into the bed curling up at the older woman's side. Grimmjow comes toward me. "C'mon, Ichi, I wanna show you something."

"Okay." I say. I turn to Helena and Nel. "I had a lovely time with both of you."

"Will you come back and play with Nel later?" the little green-haired girl asks. I nod and smile. "Okay, and Grimmy you have to come with Itsygo too!"

"Like hell." Grimmjow grumbles, taking my hand and pulling me from the room. I give a final wave to the two women before they are out of sight. Grimmjow continues to pull me through corridor after corridor and I wrestle my hand from his grasp as we make our way outside.

"Where are we going?" I ask. He just smirks at me over his shoulder. God, I'm supposed to be mad at him, but he looks so cute when he does that.

"You'll see." he says. I sigh and take his hand again as our pace slows down. Before I know it, we're strolling wistfully through an orchard of sakura trees. They're in full bloom and absolutely gorgeous.

"You gonna tell me where we're going now?" I ask again. Grimmjow shakes his head and I chuckle. "Fine."

We continue to walk in comfortable silence until we come to a wooden bridge that's arched over a small stream. We cross over it and come to a stop in front of a beautiful pond with three pairs of koi fish swimming in slow, leisurely circles. Grimmjow sits down next to the pond's edge and encourages me to do the same. I do, and for a moment all is quiet as we both admire the koi. After a while, Grimmjow speaks.

"I used to come here when I was younger. Whenever everything was too much and I wanted to get away from it all." I don't know what to say so I keep quiet and wait for him to continue. "Don't ask me why I never told you about my family or childhood. It's just something I don't like discussing. But I hope sharing this place with you is enough."

I don't think so, but it'll suffice for now. At least I have some insight into what his childhood was like. Even if it is completely vague. I guess now is as good a time as I'll get to ask about what I heard this morning.

"Grimm, who were you on the phone with this morning?" I ask quietly. He looks at me wide-eyed for a second and then he turns his attention back to the koi. For a long while he's quiet and I don't think he's going to answer me.

"You were listening to my conversation?" he finally asks, his tone cold. I haven't heard him speak like that before very often, and especially not to me.

"I woke up alone and I went looking for you and you were on the phone, that's all." I respond. Grimmjow continues to watch the koi. "Are you going to answer my question or what?"

"Or what. That conversation doesn't concern you in any way, shape or form." He stands and still doesn't look at me. "Don't ask about my private conversations again."

"Well, excuse the fuck out of me for being worried about you." I grumble. Grimmjow just tsks incredulously.

"C'mon. Let's get back inside. We're leaving tomorrow."

I scoff and stand, following him as he walks off. It was just a fucking question. I didn't accuse him of anything, even though I have a surplus of suspicions. I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but he's doing nothing to quell my worries, especially when he gets all defensive and harsh just because I asked a simple question. Yeah, I'm not doubting my instincts anymore. Something is definitely up.

* * *

"You really think he'd do that after five years, Ichigo?" my friend Suì-Fēng asks as we sip coffee amiably. I shrug, scowling at my cup. I honestly don't know what to think anymore. Suì-Fēng sighs. "You always get all worried about shit when you really shouldn't. Grimmjow wouldn't do something like that. He loves you, Ichigo."

"Yeah. I know." I sigh. A subject change is definitely in order. "How did Ururu's surgery fair?"

"Oh, she did great. Abarai performed the operation since you were out. She's still in recovery, but her family is immensely grateful to you."

"That's good. I'm so glad she's doing okay. It's really Grimmjow that her family should be grateful to." I say, with a shrug. "He's the one who talked to Granz and he paid for the operation."

"What'd you do, blow him?" Suì-Fēng asks, nudging me. I scoff and roll my eyes.

"Certainly not. I just talked to him about it when he asked me why I was upset. He likes to see me happy and vice versa. Speaking of, will you be able to come to the surprise party I'm throwing for his birthday?" I ask, as we leave the break room. Suì-Fēng pulls out her iPhone and taps at it.

"When's it gonna be?" she asks.

"Day of. I'm thinking of inviting his brother, even though I don't like him very much. And Ulquiorra will definitely be there. So, will you be able to make it?" Suì-Fēng nods. "Cool. I'll see you later."

"Later, Ichigo." Suì-Fēng heads toward the maternity ward where she works and I make a beeline for my office to call Grimmjow. It's about three in the morning, so I'm not expecting him to answer, but I'm still going to call. I sit down in my chair and pick up my office phone. I would use my cell, but it died and I haven't had time to charge it. I fiddle with my name badge as I wait for Grimmjow's voicemail to pick up. I'm surprised when his voice pours through the speaker, sounding almost like he doesn't have to come in for his shift in four hours.

"Who's this?"

"Grimm, it's me. I always call you, but I'm surprised that you answered. Shouldn't you be sleeping?" For a moment, Grimmjow doesn't respond.

"Why didn't you call from your cell?"

"It's dead. Once again, what are you doing awake?" I hear shuffling in the background before Grimmjow sighs.

"Just couldn't seem to fall asleep, that's all. How was that girl's surgery?" he asks. My scowl softens just a tad; I'm still pissed at him, but my vexation can wait.

"It was successful. Abarai performed it and she's in recovery. Her family gives you their gratitude, and so do I." Grimmjow just grunts.

"Not that big of a deal. Guess I can go to sleep now. I'll see you later, Ichi." he says. My scowl returns to its previous epic proportions.

"Fine, Grimmjow. Bye."

"I love you, Ichigo." And just like that, I'm not pissed at him anymore. Damn him for being able to change my mood with just the tone of his voice. I sigh again before my scowl transforms into a smile.

"I love you too, Grimmjow."

I hang up the phone and run a hand through my hair. Maybe Suì-Fēng was right, and I'm getting all worked up over nothing. There's a lot that Grimmjow is stressing over right now, like losing his first patient and his dying mother. I'm not going to worry about my suspicions anymore. I'm just going to do my best to be there for him.

As soon as I lay my head on my desk, my pager beeps. Duty calls. I head into the hallway just as Renji Abarai, the doctor who performed Ururu's surgery in my place, rushes toward me.

"Hey, Kurosaki. Tsumugiya is awake and wants to see you." he says with a smile. I nod and follow him to recovery. "I heard Jaegerjaquez took care of the whole thing."

"Yeah, he did." I respond.

"I heard his family is ridiculously rich."

"Where'd you hear that?"

"Internet." I chuckle and shake my head. Renji's so nosy. We walk into Ururu's room and I smile at the small girl and her parents, Shunsui and Nanao. Shunsui stands and shakes my hand vigorously. He looks to be on the verge of tears as he starts to speak.

"Thank you so much for everything, Doctor Kurosaki. You don't know how much this means to us." I smile genuinely and nod.

"I really didn't do anything. You should be thanking Doctor Abarai for performing the surgery and Doctor Jaegerjaquez for covering the expenses." I realize that Shunsui was still shaking my hand when he abruptly stops.

"Jaegerjaquez? Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez?" he questions. I tilt my head in confusion. What's the big deal? I'm sure everyone knows who he is. He won the fucking Nobel Prize when he was twenty-nine.

"Uh, yes. I don't know anyone else with that last name." I say, with a chuckle. Shunsui doesn't laugh. "Do you know him?"

"We, uh, grew up together." he responds. How is that possible? Grimmjow grew up on that big ass gated estate, didn't he? And I'm pretty sure he finished school before most people his age even hit puberty, so how? I'm about to ask that, but Ururu speaks up in her soft voice.

"Doctor Kurosaki, I know that Doctor Abarai performed my surgery and that Doctor Jaegerjaquez paid for it, but I want to thank you. You were there when I was scared and you told me that everything would be okay when I thought I was going to die. You're my friend, Doctor Kurosaki, and that's why I want to thank you."

I think I'm going to cry. I cross to the girl's bedside. I wipe away some of the tears that are falling from her eyes.

"Don't get too worked up now, Ururu." Nanao says, softly.

"I have to go now. I'll come back and see you before I leave, okay?" I say. Ururu nods and Renji and I leave the room.

"Did Tsumugiya's dad say he grew up with Jaegerjaquez?" Renji asks. I nod dumbly. I'm still thinking about that myself, but like hell if I'll talk to Renji's nosy ass about my problems. Time to change the subject.

"So, will you and Kuchiki be coming to Grimmjow's party?" I ask. Renji shrugs.

"I'll be there, but you know there's no love lost between Byakuya and Jaegerjaquez. I'll ask him though." I nod and Renji waves as he turns down a different corridor.

I continue in the direction of my office until my pager beeps. I pull it out of my pocket and roll my eyes. Fucking hell. If there's one person I hate more than Szayelaporro Granz it's the co-director of the hospital, Mayuri Kurotsuchi. He's a fucking sadistic, creepy bastard who has it out for me because I didn't want to subject myself to the torture of a date with him. I'm naïve, some might even call me obtuse, but I'm not fucking stupid. He was interested in nothing but my ass, and maybe an experiment or two to see how I was born with orange hair. Though he really has no room to talk with that mop of royal blue hair on his head. The fucking cunt.

I sigh before knocking twice on the door of his office. I wait until I hear his nasally voice tell me to enter, and then I walk inside.

"You wanted to see me, Director Kurotsuchi?" I say, taking a seat in front of his desk. He has an uncharacteristically serious look on his face as his golden eyes study my face.

"Are you aware of Jaegerjaquez's activities as of late?" he asks. I raise an eyebrow. What the hell does he mean by that?

"I'm not sure what you're asking." I respond, evenly. Kurotsuchi laces his fingers together and rests his chin on his hands.

"One of the nurses set an appointment for a one Inoue Orihime to have an abortion one week from today. The name appearing on the statement was Ogichi Shirosaki. I'm sure you know who that is." he says. I don't know if he's fucking with me or if he's serious. That's another thing I hate about this guy.

I know who Shiro is. He's been Grimmjow's friend for a long time, so it's pretty obvious that we've met before. What I don't understand is what exactly Shiro knocking up some girl and making her get rid of it has to do with me or Grimmjow.

_"She's got 'til next week to get rid of it or I will."_

Well, shit. Did Grimmjow knock that girl up and make Shiro put his name on the statement so I wouldn't find out? He is bisexual so it's plausible; it just doesn't seem right, though. I'm so confused.

"I'm sorry, but what's your reason for telling me this?" I ask. Kurotsuchi smiles, wryly.

"I don't really have one, I suppose. I just found some information I thought would spark your interest and I passed it along. That's all." I narrow my eyes. I don't believe that at all.

"Well, if that's all you wanted to tell me, I thank you for wasting my time. That's three whole minutes of my life that I can never get back." I stand and roll my eyes before heading for the door.

"Don't shoot the messenger, Kurosaki. I just think it might be wise to look deeper into your significant other's nightlife."

"I think it might be wise for you to mind your goddamned business, Kurotsuchi." With that, I walk out of the office. He's making me doubt Grimm and that pisses me off. I'm not one to just believe he-said she-said nonsense, but I heard for myself what Grimmjow said on the phone when we were in Kyoto. Kurotsuchi's 'information' is just making me more confused. The only thing to do is talk to Grimmjow. Again.

* * *

I drop my keys on the counter in the kitchen. It's a little past six in the morning. Grimmjow should be awake. I have to talk to him about all the nonsense that Kurotsuchi said. I need to hear his side before I make more speculations. I walk into our bedroom. Grimmjow comes out of the adjacent bathroom with a towel around his waist. I swear he was crafted from God's tears.

"Hey, Ichi." he says. He crosses the room to me and kisses me softly. I kiss him back, but it's nothing fervent. He pulls away, confusion clearly set in his features. "What's wrong, baby?"

"I need to talk to you about something, Grimmjow." I say, evenly. I take his hand and we sit on the bed.

"What is it?" he asks.

"Kurotsuchi called me into his office before I left. He told me some girl named Inoue is scheduled to have an abortion in a week and Shiro is paying for it. I wouldn't be asking about it if I hadn't heard what you said on the phone in Kyoto." Grimmjow's eyes widen as he looks at me. I turn away and continue. "I don't know what's going on, Grimmjow, but I need to. I need you to tell me the truth. I don't like all the secrets you've kept, and I feel like you're lying to me about something. We've been together for five years, there's no reason for you to be keeping so many things from me. So tell me the truth, Grimmjow. Please."

Grimmjow doesn't respond for a while. I turn back to face him, and his blue brows are furrowed as he stares daggers at the floor. Then he looks at me again and his features soften.

"Inoue is my little cousin. She's starting university soon and a baby would nullify her scholarship. Shiro is paying for it because she is his girlfriend." he says. I search his eyes. He seems to be telling the truth, but for some reason, I still don't believe him. That doesn't matter though. At least he didn't get all defensive like he did last time, so I guess we're getting somewhere.

"Oh. For a moment, I thought you were cheating on me." I say, with a laugh. Grimmjow chuckles.

"Why the hell would you think that?" he asks. I just shrug and continue to smile. He kisses me again, and this time, I kiss him back fervently. "Don't think about such ridiculous things anymore, alright?"

"Okay."

"I gotta fix my hair." I laugh at that as Grimmjow walks back into the bathroom. "Don't hate, you love it."

I lay down on the bed and stare at the ceiling. I jump when Grimmjow's phone vibrates on the other side of the bed. Am I going to look? Of course I am. Wouldn't you? I pick his phone up and slide the screen to unlock it. What's his password? 0666. He knows mine too, so it's not a big deal. Once his phone is unlocked, I tap the message icon; it's a text message from Nnoitra.

_Gilga Nnoitra: ¥35.5 mil Hueco Mundo, 19:30_

What the hell is Hueco Mundo? And why does he need ¥35.5 million? I lock Grimmjow's phone and put it back where it was on the bed. Shit. I'm not even going to ask him about that. There's no way I'm getting two straight answers from Grimmjow in one day. I'm about to lie down again when vibrating from the nightstand scares the Beejesus out of me. I pull the top drawer open to find another cell phone. Since when does Grimmjow have two fucking phones? I catch the message before the backlight goes out. It's the same message from Nnoitra. What the living fuck? I shut the drawer when I hear Grimmjow leaving the bathroom.

He spares the phone on the bed an uninterested glance before he goes into our walk-in closet.

"You got a message from your brother while you were primping." I say, cheekily. I hear Grimmjow's scoff from the closet.

"What'd it say?" he asks.

"¥35.5 mil Hueco Mundo, 19:30." No response. Guess it's another one of those things that doesn't concern me in any way, shape, or form.

"Thanks." he says after what seems like an eternity.

"No problem." I respond, dryly. Grimmjow walks out of the closet and picks up his phone.

"I'll see you when I get off." he says. He crosses to where I'm laying on the bed and kisses my forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too, Grimm."

"Oh, by the way, I want  _strawberry_  cake at my birthday party." he says, smugly. My mouth drops open. "Shouldn't have told Renji about it, Ichi. You should know better by now."

Ugh, fucking Renji! He can't hold water in a fucking bucket.

"Fine, you can have strawberry cake, even though it pisses me off to say that word. And you better act like you're fucking surprised when you walk in, got it?" I say, crassly. Grimmjow laughs and runs a hand through my hair.

"Yeah. I'll call you on my break, okay?"

"Don't bother I'll be sleeping and then I'll be planning your surprise party." I say, turning on my other side. He laughs again.

"Alright then. See you." He crosses to the other side of the bed, presumably to retrieve his second phone and I hear the door close as he leaves.

I can't help but feel a sense of dread. Nothing good can come from him hiding so many things from me. I can keep acting like it doesn't matter, laughing it off and trying to maintain my composure, but I don't know for how long. So he's not cheating, that's great. But there's  _something_  going on that he's not telling me, something that he obviously thinks I wouldn't approve of, or else he wouldn't hide it. I guess I'll just have to trust him, right? Yeah. Like hell.


	3. What Would You Do?

_Chapter III_ _: What Would You Do?_

Kurotsuchi is dead. Metaphorically speaking anyway. I'm not gonna kill him, but that doesn't mean I won't retaliate for what he did. He fucking knows who I am. He's on my roster, just like Szayel. And if he thinks it's fucking hilarious to try to sabotage my relationship with Ichigo, then his ass is grass, and I'm the motherfucking lawnmower. I would kick the bastard's ass right now, but he's gone and now Pinky's here (without the brain). I seriously don't want to be here right now. I have entirely too much shit to deal with when it comes to F6 business, but I have to keep up appearances. So I'll do what I've been doing as of late: stay for half my shift and then bail.

As for Ichigo, I'm just gonna have to do what I can to keep him out of this. Sure I hate lying to him as much as he hates being lied to, but I just want to keep him safe. This is the only way I know how to protect him. It doesn't help that he's friends with that nosy ass Abarai. He's dating Kuchiki, who knows who I am because of the clan's affiliation with his family. I guess that's why he was so avidly against me and Ichigo being together, but whatever. Maybe he can tell me what to do when he pulls that lampole out of his ass. But that doesn't matter; what I do is gonna come out eventually, and truthfully, I'd rather Ichigo hear it from me than from someone else.

"Jaegerjaquez!" I hear behind me as I walk down the hallway toward the surgical ward. I turn around languidly.

"Shunsui?" I ask, incredulously. The man nods and shakes my hand. "How the fuck you been, man?"

"Still as foul-mouthed as ever. I'm good now that you've saved my daughter's life. Thanks a lot, man." he says. Oh, so that was his kid. Hmm.

"No problem." I say. He looks at me disbelievingly. Does he think I'm going to try to make him pay me back? "What?"

"I'm just waiting for a date. When do you want me to have it? I can do my best, but..." I put my hand up to get him to stop rattling off that nonsense.

"Look man, don't worry about it. This has nothing to do with the clan; I did it because I wanted to, and I used my own money. You don't need to even think like that, alright? In fact, I'm disappointed that an old friend would think I'd be so heartless." I say, with a smile. Shunsui still doesn't look like he believes me, but he smiles nonetheless.

"Thanks, man."

"I'll see you around, yeah?"

"Yeah." With that, Shunsui turns and walks back in the direction of recovery.

Guess you'd like to know the deal there, huh? Well, Shunsui used to be a part of the clan. Something akin to an errand boy, but much more life-threatening. Him and this other guy, Kensei, would go on runs to collect from businesses owned by F6 and from people who owed us money. We were pretty close until I decided to go to America; he was like a big brother that I was actually fond of at the time. He left the clan once I left for America. You could say I'm jealous that he was able to do that, he did the only thing I've ever wanted to do. I could see why he wanted to; he's only about four years older than me, so he was about seventeen at the time. Who wants to be stuck looking over their shoulder for the rest of their life, wondering when someone is coming to bust a cap in their ass? Not me, but some aren't as fortunate as others.

I wonder if Shunsui's family knows what he used to do. Probably not. At least if I was him I wouldn't tell them. He's not affiliated with the clan anymore, so there's no need to tell anyone that he was. That's how I see it anyway.

I finally make it to my office and I sink down in my chair. Damn, I'm tired as fuck. No need to try to relax though. Szayel still hasn't had his chance to chew me out about losing that patient. Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm still not entirely sure which patient it was. Oh well, I'll hear it from Szayel soon enough.

I lean back in my chair and close my eyes. Just as I do, my phone vibrates. Why do I even bother? I pull it out of my pocket. Nnoi of course.

"What?"

"Did you get my texts?" he asks. I run a hand over my face and sigh.

"Yeah, man. Isn't that why you insisted I have two cell phones?" I kick my feet up onto my desk and balance the phone between my head and shoulder. "Now explain to me why the fuck I need that much."

"Because that's how much Urahara's asking for." Nnoi responds as if he's not talking about a ridiculous amount of money. "Look, we've had our techs on this and it's not working. You know Urahara is the only person capable of this and so does he."

"Shit." I curse. It's not like I don't have thirty-five mil to spare, but it's the principle. That old fuck is price gouging, and he knows it. "Fine. Have Hanatarou pull it from the Cayman account, transfer it and then give it to Shiro. Tell Shiro to drop it, and if he so much as skims one fucking yen off the top, I'll skin his pasty ass my damn self."

"Yes sir, oh Captain, my captain!" Nnoi says, sarcastically. I roll my eyes and hang up the phone.

* * *

Just as I suspected, Szayel is pissed about the patient. Turns out it was a young man that I'd operated on. I removed a malignant tumor from his brain. The operation was completely successful and he was fine for the first few days afterwards. Then, he had an aneurysm. Well, shit, didn't see that coming at all.

"And you just leave without so much as finding out which patient you lost? What is wrong with you, Jaegerjaquez?" Szayel screeches. I don't think I fucking like the tone he's taking with me. Nope, I don't like it at all.

"Shut your goddamned mouth before I shut it permanently." I growl. Szayel stops mid-rant and glares at me. "This is the first patient I've lost in my entire career. Seven years of operating on peoples' brains and one of them dies. Just one. Don't think you can try to make it seem like I ain't doing my goddamned job. I do this job better than anybody in this country. The reason I left is because someone was stealing my money, the money I use to pay you and every other motherfucker who works here. So you better bring your ass down from your shoulders and recognize who the fuck you're talking to. Your name may have director in front of it, but that's only because I put it there. I run this bitch, and I run your ass too. Got it?"

Szayel doesn't have too much to say now. He knows his place. He better be glad I'm so lenient or he'd be fucking hanging from the flagpole out front as an example to future motherfuckers who think they want to try to piss me off.

"My apologies, Sexta." he grumbles. I just tsk before leaving the office. Stupid pink-haired fuck.

This is my hospital. The clan owns it, and it's just one of the things I inherited as Sexta. I chose Szayel to be the director because he's a genius like me. I have him beat about twenty points IQ wise, but he's still a good doctor and an excellent researcher. He's won awards for his research on the still present effects of the atomic bombs that were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. He's good, but he's got the one more time to get butt-hurt with me, and I'm gonna break my foot off in his scrawny ass.

Kurotsuchi is a different story. I didn't really like him but he was the only applicant with enough experience to be co-director. Don't get me wrong, he's a genius too, but he's a cunt. I try not to deal with him too much, which is why he's on the night shift. Unfortunately, that leaves Ichigo privy to his creepy antics. God, I hate that guy, I really do. I need to formulate some kind of punishment for his infraction, but what can I do? He doesn't have any family past his daughter, Nemu, who happens to be one of my nurses. He doesn't give a shit about her though, so it wouldn't affect him if I killed her. I can't kill him though, because even though he's a creepy bastard whom everyone hates, people would still notice if he suddenly went missing. I think I'll have my techs dig up some dirt on him. He's probably some kind of rapist or something anyway.

I have been thoroughly pissed off for the day. I swear the next person to look at me wrong is getting a left hook to the jaw.

My phone vibrates and I pull it out of my pocket before scowling at the name on the screen.

"Shiro, I swear to some deity that I will fucking murder you in your sleep if you try to weasel out of this drop." I growl into the phone. Shiro just cackles in the Shiro way.

"I'll be there, Grimm. I'm just giving ya a fair warning." he says, suddenly serious.

"Warning about what?"

"Word on the street is Aizen is moving in on F6 territory. I hope you're preparing for war, because it could come to that." I shake my head.

"Not likely. I'll end this shit before it starts. All I need is for you to get your pasty ass to Hueco Mundo." I say.

"This is more serious than ya think, Grimm. You've always had a habit of thinking you're smarter than shit, and most of the time you're right. But this ain't about brains, man. This is yakuza. There's no room to underestimate your opponent."

I know Shiro's right. It's one of the reasons he's my top advisor. I'm a genius but when it comes down to it, I don't really care about the "gang" aspect of this association. I guess I could get more involved in the physical side, but I don't want to. I believe all battles can be won with your brain instead of your gun. Maybe that's why I underestimate my opponents, because I'm the smartest person in the country. I guess it'd be stupid to bring a brain to a gun fight though.

"I hear you, Shiro. Just do what I say, alright?" I hear Shiro sigh.

"Fine. I'll make the drop and meet you and Nnoi at HQ." he says.

"Yeah." I hang up the phone and toss it on my desk before leaning back in my chair and closing my eyes.

It's just a stream of endless nonsense. First the missing revenue, then one of my bitches gets knocked up by one of the clients and I have to lie to Ichigo about it. I should just dismiss her ass, but Inoue is actually pretty popular at Seireitei. She's not as popular as Rangiku or her sister Haineko, but she has regulars that shell out the one hundred thousand yen for an hour with her. She's got this really ditzy, innocent thing going on and I guess they're into that. Whatever, I don't care as long as I'm making money. Currently I'm not making money, because I'm not going to let her interact with clients while she's knocked up. That's just fucking gross. The only logical solution is for her to get rid of it. I mean, what would you do if you were in my position?

Now I have to shell out thirty-five mil to get some old fucker to trace a virus that stole money from me because my techs couldn't do it. I don't really have a problem with Urahara and he's good at what he does, but he's a bit of a cunt. He has a habit of hitting on me when I go to have him do a job and that shit is just fucking creepy. I swear he's like a thousand years old. Ew. That's why I'm sending Shiro to make the drop. Also the place where he wants to meet is a three hour drive and I can't go there, wait for him to finish, and get back to make it home on time.

Mom is getting worse too. I got a call from Retsu earlier today saying that she's not eating. She goes through periods like that. Usually Retsu can get her to eat some soup or rice and she'll be fine, but she won't even eat that. As if enough shit isn't fucked up, this has to happen too. Maybe it's karma. Nah. I don't believe in that nonsense.

* * *

I don't know if I've ever said this before, but Nnoitra gets on my damn nerves. He and Shiro sincerely piss me off.

"Grimm, we're just askin' ya to meet with her, that's all." Shiro says. We're at HQ and they've ambushed me. Now the weapons specialist is in my office and him and Nnoi are trying to make me get a gun. I don't want a gun. I've never needed one before now; is that not what I have bodyguards for? Plus, I can take care of myself. Even if I did want a gun, I'd be perfectly capable of making that decision on my own. "C'mon, she ain't gonna wait all day."

"Fuck. I'm gonna mount both of your asses above my fireplace." I growl. Nnoi and Shiro laugh.

"You don't have a fireplace." Nnoi says.

"I'll buy one." I step into my office and am met with a sultry feminine chuckle. I resist the urge to roll my eyes. "Let's get this shit over with."

"Hello to you too, Grimmjow." Yoruichi says, mirth dancing in her sparkling golden eyes. I sigh.

Yoruichi Shihoin, the bane of my fucking existence. Nah, it's not that serious, but she is annoying as fuck. Mostly because she tries to tell me what to do, and everyone knows how I feel about that. And it also pisses me off because she's right most of the time. She's been the weapons specialist for F6 for as long as I can remember. She's got to be at least fifty, but damn if she doesn't look good. Seriously, I think it's fraud for her to be so damn good-looking at her age, but that's a story for another day. The woman is a genius when it comes to weapons; guns, swords, explosives. Doesn't matter what it is, if you can use it to kill someone, she knows about it.

"Hello, Yoruichi. Show me what you got." I say.

"But, Grimmjow, my dear, what would your boyfriend think?" she teases. I groan in frustration as she laughs. "I'm kidding. Let's get started."

She clears my desk and slams three silver briefcases onto it. She pops each one of them open and gestures for me to look at them. I raise an eyebrow.

"These all American?" I ask. She nods.

"Smith & Wesson, per Shiro's request. Your choice between the .500 Magnum, the .44 Special, and the SW1911. I also brought a few Beretta, but if you're looking for aesthetics, I'd go for the Special."

"Who fucking cares about aesthetics?" I grumble.

"You're such a baby. I got M&P15s too, but those aren't optional. Nnoi says you're to keep two of those in your car at all times." she says. I glare.

"That's fucking illegal. You know I don't do illegal." Yoruichi shrugs.

"You do now, sweetheart."

Fuck.

"Fine. I'll take the 1911, thank you. How much do I owe you?" Yoruichi brings a delicate finger to her chin and ponders.

"Hmm, since your birthday's in a few days, I'll give you a discount. Twenty-five mil." she says. The fuck? I shake my head. Yoruichi doesn't do negotiations, so there's no use arguing.

"Goddamn, you and Urahara are in cahoots to suck me dry, aren't you?" I say, as I reach into my back pocket and retrieve the key to my desk's bottom drawer. Yoruichi chuckles as I unlock the drawer and pull up the small door leading to the hollowed out compartment at the bottom.

"Maybe." she says, coyly. I glare at her as I start dropping stacks of one million yen onto the desk. "How is your boyfriend by the way?"

"He's fine. Why?" I ask. Yoruichi shrugs as she tosses the twenty-five stacks into one of the suitcases.

"I don't know. I just always found it interesting that all it took to make the almighty Sexta settle down was a tight ass and orange hair." She laughs and I scowl.

"Get the fuck out." She continues to laugh as she takes two of the suitcases leaving the one containing the M&Ps behind.

"Touch-y." She sobers and turns to face me again. "Do what you can to keep him safe, alright? I'm actually pretty fond of him, even if we've never met."

"And why's that?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"It's like I said before...he made you settle down. Take care, Sexta."

The fuck is that supposed to mean?

* * *

I walk into the penthouse and sit down in the living room. I had Granz call Ichigo and give him the night off. It's been a shit day, and I need some alone time with my strawberry.

"Hey, Grimm." he says in his soft tenor as he sits down beside me. I put my arm around him, pulling him close. He laughs when I rub my nose across his smooth neck. "You're like a cat."

"I'm just being affectionate."

"Yes, like a cat." He moans softly as I run my tongue up his neck to his ear. The sound goes straight to my groin and I blow my breath on the slick trail I've created. He shudders and turns to face me. He smiles at me before he brings our lips together. He pins me with those eyes and I know he's going to ask me something that ruins my mood. "Why didn't you tell me about Nel?"

Wasn't expecting that one.

"Never came up, I guess."

"Retsu-san told me that her mother died, but what about her father?"

"He was never around to begin with. My cousin was pretty dumb when it came to picking guys, and with her luck, she ended up knocked up by the biggest prick of all. He left the day she started showing and never came back." Ichigo has that misty doe-eyed look of sympathy that makes my heart ache so I turn away as I continue. "Nel was in the car with her when the accident happened. That's how she got that scar across her nose. I don't know how she manages to stay so happy, but...I guess I'm glad. With all that's happened to her, it's just good to see that she's not fucked up."

"Yeah, that is good.  _Grimmy_." I turn and glare at Ichigo's smug face and he erupts with laughter. "Your face is just too rich! I can't believe I've never thought of calling you that."

"Don't even think about it."

"No, no, I'm totally calling you that now."

"I'll kill you." Ichigo continues to laugh as he straddles my lap.

"Like you could ever do anything to hurt me." He wraps his arms around my neck and kisses me sensually. He tangles his fingers in my hair and deepens the kiss. Once he pulls away, he rests his forehead against mine. "Maybe she could come and stay with us sometime."

"Maybe pigs will fly someday." I retort, sarcastically. Ichigo scowls/pouts. He's so cute.

"You're such a jerk." We're quiet for a while as he rests his head on my shoulder.

Right now, I feel so content. I know I want to be with him forever. I've kind of known that since the day we met. Would it be right to ask him, though, with all that I'm keeping from him? Would he even say yes?

"Ichi?" He sits up and looks at me, waiting for me to continue. "Wanna get married?"

His eyes go comically large and he looks like he swallowed a bug. Then he smiles and hugs me tightly.

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Duh! Jeez, I thought you'd never ask, stupid." he says, punching me lightly in the chest. He kisses me again and this time when he pulls away, a goofy grin is pulling at his face. "I love you, Grimmy."

"I love you too, Ichi, but if you keep calling me that, I'm gonna take back my proposal."

"Okay fine. I love you, Grimmjow."

"I love you too, Ichigo."

* * *

"It's a simple trojan. That your techs couldn't figure that out surprises me." Urahara says. He watches his computer screen from underneath his stupid green striped hat. He pisses me off being all smug about it. "In fact, I'm surprised they didn't detect it before now."

"So can you trace it?" I ask, irritably. I did not leave Ichigo at home in my bed all hot and bothered to have some old fuck tell me shit I already know.

"That's where I've come to a problem. The trace leads to somewhere in America, but I'm not sure how that's possible, unless Aizen has contacts in America. It could also mean that Aizen himself is in America. Though that's highly unlikely, it is a possibility."

Ugh, now he's just talking to himself.

"So should I send some guys to America or not?"

"It could be a wild goose chase, since the trace led to Who-Gives-A-Shit, North Carolina, but if you want to be thorough, you should."

I nod before standing to leave. Guess I'll send Aaroniero and Shuhei to handle it.

"Wait, Grimmjow." Urahara calls. I turn around and fix him with a stare that I hope conveys just how irritated I am. "If I were you, I'd lay low for a bit. Just as a precautionary measure. And tell your boyfriend to do the same."

I have to admit the rare look of seriousness on Urahara's face kind of freaks me out more than his usual creepy old guy leer.

"Fiancé."

"What?"

"He's my fiancé now. Just asked him yesterday."

"Oh. Well all the more reason to keep him safe, right? Aizen doesn't seem like the type to play fair." Urahara says, a small smile on his face. I just stare at him incredulously.

"Yeah, I guess. See you around, Urahara."

* * *

I sigh as I'm guided by Ichigo through what I assume is a hallway. He was serious about this surprise shit.

"Ichi, you know I know about this already, right?" I say.

"And I said you better act like you're fucking surprised. Now shut the hell up and walk." I roll my eyes behind the blindfold.

"Yes dear." Ichigo scoffs and continues to push me forward. We walk for a few more minutes and then he stops me. I hear a door open and he pulls the blindfold off of my face. A collective call of "surprise" resounds throughout the hotel ballroom. I smile and turn to Ichigo. "You shouldn't have."

He makes an annoyed face and kisses me.

"Happy birthday, Grimm."

"Thanks, Ichi."

People crowd around us and I force myself to smile and look happy for Ichigo. Inside, I'm pissed as hell. Yoruichi, Urahara, Shiro, Nnoi, they want me to run, is that it? Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez does not run. But when Ichigo's safety is at stake, it makes me consider it. I don't think I'd be able to forgive myself if he got hurt because of this nonsense.

"Grimm? Grimm, you totally spaced just now. Are you okay?" Ichigo asks. I nod. He smiles and takes my hand in his.

"Hello, Grimmjow." a bored voice says. I turn around smiling at my pale friend.

"Hey, Ulqui. Didn't know you'd be here."

"I was invited by Ichigo. If you don't mind, could I speak to Grimmjow alone for a second?" Ulquiorra asks, directing his attention towards Ichigo.

"I don't mind. I need to find Renji and junk punch him anyway." Ichigo says. He kisses my cheek and walks off. I turn back towards Ulquiorra once he's gone.

"What is it?"

"The restaurant was visited by some very unsavory characters who tried to procure the deed. I told them that they were severely misinformed, and that I do not possess the deed. Is something going on that I should know about, Grimmjow?"

Shit. So Shiro wasn't making up that shit about Aizen moving in on my territory. Aizen must not be aware of the changes I've made to how F6 deals with the businesses we collect from. You see, extortion is illegal, and I don't do illegal. At least not where business is involved. If I see a business as lucrative, I buy it. My name is on the deed and I own it. However, I don't necessarily run that business, the person it originally belonged to does. Think of it in a sense of franchisement, like when you open up your own McDonald's. Essentially, you're like a general manager. Except the difference is, every month you have to pay me, the real owner, a certain quota to keep your job. So of course Ulquiorra doesn't have the deed to his restaurant. It's not his restaurant; it's mine.

"Nothing that won't be handled by this time next week, man." I say, nonchalantly. Ulquiorra doesn't seem convinced.

"Fine. If that is what you truly believe, I will not question your actions." he says. With that, he walks away. Ichigo returns a few minutes later, a scowl on his face.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Your brother brought a prostitute." he responds. I look towards the entrance and sure enough, Nnoi is there with none other than Rangiku. I roll my eyes. Of all the bitches he had to bring the one with the biggest mouth. I think Ichigo was just trying to insult her, but he doesn't know how right he is about the occupation he chose to do it with.

"How do you know she's a prostitute?" I ask, an amused expression on my face. Ichigo deadpans.

"She's willingly hanging onto Nnoitra." I erupt with laughter. It appears that Ichigo isn't fond of Nnoi. I don't really blame him though. The beanpole didn't really make the best first impression on him. Nnoi makes his way toward us and Ichigo scoffs before walking away.

"What's wrong with your bitch, bro?"

"Don't call him that. And you're what's wrong with him. He doesn't like you, probably because you're a fucking idiot. What the fuck did you bring her here for?" I ask, gesturing towards the strawberry blonde. Rangiku pouts.

"I needed a date. Don't worry, you can put her on my tab." Nnoi says. Ugh, he disgusts me.

"Whatever. Just make sure she doesn't get out of hand."

"Yeah, yeah. Bitch, get me a drink." Rangiku walks off after nodding. "You talk to Urahara?"

"Yeah. Says it traced to somewhere in America. Little shit town in North Carolina that no one cares about. I'm going to send Shuhei and Aaroniero to check it out. In the meantime, me and Ichigo are going to Spain."

"Good idea. I was thinking about telling you to lay low for a bit. I don't need you getting fucked up by some cockroach like Aizen." Rangiku returns with a flute of champagne and gives it to Nnoi.

"You think I fucking need you to protect me? First the guns, then this. I don't need to 'lay low'. Me and Ichi are going to Spain because I want to marry him and I can't do that here. The day Aizen fucks me up is the day a fucking pterodactyl tears your head off."

"Bro, you need to learn to remain calm. I'm just concerned for you, not just as Sexta, but as Big Head, my little brother." Nnoi says. I roll my eyes at the nickname he gave me when we were young.

"Whatever. Call me that again, and you can consult a bullet from my 1911." Nnoi laughs as I walk away to find Ichigo. He's standing talking to Abarai and Kuchiki. Ew. I don't have a problem with Abarai, really, but Kuchiki pisses me the fuck off with his superior ass attitude. I approach them trying to reign in my expression of distaste.

"Happy birthday, Jaegerjaquez." Abarai says. I nod as gratitude, not trusting myself to speak without sounding like a douche. Kuchiki fixes me with a critical gaze. I stare right back, two seconds from socking the prick in the mouth. Ichigo looks at his phone before grabbing my hand.

"C'mon, I have two big surprises for you." he says, half dragging me towards the entrance. Once we're there, I jump as two twin girls rush me and hug me tightly.

"Grimm-nii!" they say simultaneously. I recognize them as Ichigo's younger sisters and I hug them back.

"Good to see you two." The girls pull away from me and I ruffle their hair.

"It's great to see you too, Grimm-nii. Ichi-nii told us you're getting married. I'm so happy for you." Yuzu gushes. Karin nods.

"Ditto."

"Thanks."

"Ichi-nii, is Suì-Fēng here? I want to show her all the pictures I took in Paris." Yuzu says. Ichigo nods.

"Just put Grimm's gift on the table with the others. Suì-Fēng is near the back." The girls wave at me again before leaving to find Suì-Fēng. Ichigo turns to me. "I was going to wait to give you your gift, but it kind of needs to get out."

"What?" I ask. Ichigo just smiles and holds up a finger before disappearing behind the gift table. He comes back with a large black box wrapped in a huge sky blue bow. He sits the box down on a nearby table and I untie the bow. I hear a soft meow as I pull the top off of the box. My face breaks into a smile as I pick my "gift" up from out of the box. Big crystal blue eyes stare at me and small black paws swat at my hand. The kitten wriggles around a bit more before deeming me worthy and settling down in my arms. She lets out a soft purr as I scratch behind her black ears. "You got me a cat."

"Yeah. Her name's Shiin."

"She's so awesome, Ichi. Thanks." I lean over and kiss him. He takes the initiative to deepen the kiss, slipping his warm tongue into my mouth before pulling away and fixing me with a heated gaze.

"The rest of your gift comes tonight." A lecherous grin of epic proportions spreads across my face. Happy birthday to me. Ichigo winks at me before he walks off. My mood is neither increased nor decreased by Shiro's sudden appearance.

"What do you want, white boy?" I ask, lazily continuing to stroke my cat's ears. I just know he's going to make lewd comment about Ichigo. Doesn't matter how many times I kick his ass for it, he never learns.

"Aizen took Las Noches."

"The fuck? He stole my brothel?"

"I told you not to underestimate your opponent." he states, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"How the fuck did he even get the deed?" Shiro shrugs.

"I think that's pretty obvious, Sexta."

Yeah it is. F6 has a rodent infestation.

* * *

I recline on the bed still inwardly seething. Shiro had the nerve to drop some shit like that and then just act like nothing was going on. I know that bastard did that shit on purpose. He could have waited until tomorrow, the pale ass idiot. The icing on the fucking-shit-birthday cake was Rangiku hitting on Ichigo. I promised I'd never hit a woman, but she was really pushing her luck. And to top it all off, I didn't even get my strawberry cake.

"What the fuck are you doing, Ichi?" I call. I hear a giggle from the bathroom. He's obviously doing something he thinks I'll like.

"Just wait a sec, Grimm." he calls back. I groan in frustration. When he told me earlier that the rest of my present would come tonight, I was expecting sex, and goddamnit after the day I've had, I best be getting my sex. "Close your eyes, Grimmjow."

I sigh before doing as I'm told. This better not be something stupid. And there better be sex. I feel him kneel on the bed between my legs.

"Okay, you can open your eyes now."

Holy shit. A sensual smirk graces Ichigo's angelic features as mischievousness lights up his eyes. His body glistens with what smells like strawberry scented body oil and his bright orange bangs cover his left eye. His eyes smolder as I continue my eye molestation, my eyes travelling down the toned abdomen to his member. It's covered in something that looks a lot like...

"Strawberry frosting?" I question out loud, raising an eyebrow. His smirk turns into a broad smile.

"Why don't you taste and see, Grimm?" he says. He shudders as I run my finger deliberately slowly up the underside of his confection covered cock. I bring my finger to my mouth and suck the frosting off of it as Ichigo watches.

"Yum." I say, and Ichigo laughs.

"You said you wanted strawberry cake."

Fuck. Yes.

I raise myself to my knees and kiss Ichigo's soft lips. His fingers drift through my hair as he deepens the kiss bringing our tongues together in a sensuous dance. Ichigo moans bodily into the kiss and I break away only to move to the tan skin of his long neck. My tongue runs sinfully down to the junction where his neck meets his shoulder and I bite down fleetingly. The body oil tingles on my tongue and I think it has the same effect on Ichigo's skin, because his breath becomes ragged when I repeat the action.

"Grimm, lower." he commands, breathlessly. I comply with a smirk and trail my tongue down to his nipple. I nip harshly at the pink bud before switching to the other one to give it the same treatment. I groan as Ichigo pulls at my pajama pants. "You're wearing too many clothes, babe."

I step off of the bed and lower my pants to the floor revealing my leaking appendage. Ichigo gnaws at his bottom lip as I climb back onto the bed. My mouth immediately returns to his heated skin, the tingling sensation of the oil increasing my arousal. I make sure my tongue touches every inch of his abdomen and Ichigo watches with intent as I make my way to my "birthday cake". Locking my eyes with his, I give the head of his dick one long lick, the taste of the frosting mixing with his precum for a heady delicious relish. A carnal groan pours from his lips and I feel my own arousal twitch in response. Another lick to the upside produces the sexiest mewling sound. Ichigo grips my hair, obviously wanting more. I'm going to enjoy myself a bit more first, so I ignore it and turn my attention to the underside giving it the same languid ministration.

"Grimm...please, more..." That's what I wanted to hear. I smirk up at him before taking him in halfway. He makes a noise somewhere between a whimper and a moan and bucks into my mouth slightly. I continue to pull his dick in, periodically pulling back to lick away the frosting. He stares down at me intently, and the look of pure lust in his eyes causes me to become painfully hard. I hollow my cheeks around him and then pull back, tonguing the slit. "Oh God..."

Once all the frosting is gone from his length I pull away from him. He pouts a little but doesn't protest. It's  _my_  birthday, afterall.

"Got any more of that oil?" I ask. Ichigo nods before climbing off the bed and going to the bathroom. He comes back with the small bottle and tries to give it to me. I shake my head. "I want you to do it yourself."

Ichigo smiles and I lounge against the pillows. He turns so that his back is facing me but remains on his knees as he douses three of his fingers in the fragrant oil. He smirks at me over his shoulder and pushes the first of the three appendages into his tight entrance. I lick my lips, still tasting frosting and Ichigo. The latter lets out a soft mewl as he pushes in a second finger and begins to scissor them. It's almost too hot to be fair. He looks at me again as the third finger slides inside.

"How do you want it, Grimmjow? Would you like it like this?" he asks, before removing his hand and bracing himself on his hands and knees. But no, I don't want that.

"I want you to ride me." I continue to recline against the pillows as Ichigo makes his way towards me, still on his hands and knees. He straddles my waist before pulling me into a heated kiss. His tongue traces intricate patterns over every inch of my mouth before he pulls away.

"Mmmmm...you taste good." he says before he reaches down and grips my swollen erection, spreading the tingling oil across the surface. His face twists in slight discomfort as he guides me into his entrance. I'm mesmerized as I watch my dick disappear into that tight, wet heat.

"Shit..." I groan and force my eyes to stay open. I don't want to miss one second of this. Ichigo pauses in his actions to allow himself time to adjust. I restrain myself from thrusting upwards and wait for him to adjust also. Slowly, Ichigo lifts his hips up and brings them back down. Fuck, does it feel good. He repeats the action, this time with more force behind it. "Fuck, Ichi..."

"Happy birthday...to you..." he says, between movements. "Happy birthday...to you..."

"Oh, fucking cute..." I taunt, thrusting my hips upward. Ichigo moans wantonly and speeds up his actions.

"Happy...birthday dear...Grimmjow..." My name comes from his lips in a breathless near sigh as I meet his downward action with my own upward one. He braces himself on my chest with his hands and continues to increase his pace. "Happy...birthday...to...!"

Ichigo doesn't finish his little ditty as I hit his prostate with one of my thrusts. He cries out loudly and moves his hands to the headboard. Using it as leverage, he brings himself up until my dick is almost completely out of him; then, he drops back down. I bite my lip so hard, I think I'm drawing blood.

"Fuck!" The bed groans its disagreement with our actions, but that doesn't stop Ichigo from repeating what he'd done. This time, when he comes back down, I meet his hips with my own.

"Oh, fuck, Grimmjow! C'mon, baby, faster!" he yells. The headboard smacks against the wall as our movements increase in velocity. I grip Ichigo's hips as I drive upwards into that intoxicating heat. "Oh God, yes! Right there..."

The bed starts to buckle underneath us, and I'm sure it's going to give any second. I feel the heat pooling in my groin as Ichigo tightens around me. I reach up and wrap my hand around his turgid erection. He lets out a stream of curses, some that I haven't even heard of.

"I'm close, Ichi..." I grip his hips before flipping our positions so that he's underneath me. He wraps his arms around my neck as I pound into him ruthlessly. "So close..."

"Grimm...I'm gonna cum..." he warns before his body convulses and his seed spreads across his abdomen. I continue to thrust into him with a literally bed-breaking force as I lean down and run my tongue along his semen-coated abs. I look right into his eyes as I do it.

"Delicious..." Ichigo tightens around me forcing my release out of me. I let out curse after curse as I shoot my load into him, and ride out the last of my orgasm. I collapse on top of him and simultaneously, the bed collapses as well. "Shit!"

Ichigo laughs and wraps his arms around me. We stay in that position until our breathing returns to normal.

"We're gonna need a new bed." he says. I chuckle and kiss him softly.

"Best birthday ever."

* * *

I groan as I hear the sound of my phone vibrating against the nightstand. I glare at the phone and see Nnoi's name on the screen. Yeah, I'm going to ignore that. I turn over on my other side. The noise stops for a second before starting up again. Still ignoring. That is until I get a face full of pillow at the hands of a groggy Ichigo.

"Answer your stupid fucking phone, Grimmjow!" I groan again and turn back over, grabbing the phone from the nightstand.

"Alright, calm your tits!" It's fucking three in the morning. Somebody better be dying. I unlock the phone and press it to my ear before yelling, "What?!"

"Grimm, Retsu's been calling you. Mom's organs are shutting down. She's in a coma."


	4. Come Break Me Down...

_Chapter IV_ _: Come Break Me Down..._ _  
_

I sit quietly on the floor next to Helena's hospital bed, watching Nel as she plays with Shiin. The little girl seems completely oblivious to the fact that Helena is dying, but I know she knows better. I recognize her ever present happiness as a coping mechanism. How a girl so young learned to do that, I'll never know. Then again, she has faced death before; it must have just came naturally.

"Your kitty is so pretty, Itsygo." She laughs as she takes Shiin's front paws and makes the kitten stand on her hind legs.

"She's Grimm's kitty, Nel." I say. Just then, the man of the hour returns to the room, a pained expression marring his ethereal features. He glances at his dying mother before sitting in the chair next to her bed and putting his head in his hands. I feel so helpless. I hate to see him like this, but there's nothing I, or anyone else for that matter, can do. I scoot over to where he sits and pull his right hand away from his face. "I'm sorry, Grimm. I know how you feel."

He looks at me incredulously. I feel slightly offended, but then I realize I never told him how my mother died.

"My mother died when I was twelve. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer when I was nine, and it was back before there were treatments and medicines, so I basically watched her waste away for three years. I felt so helpless, just like I'm sure you do now, because there was nothing I could do for her. She held on much longer than the doctors thought she would, and my dad said it was because of me. He said I wouldn't let her go, so she continued to suffer. At the time I didn't understand what he meant and I thought he was saying her disease was my fault. I realized soon after she died that that wasn't what he meant at all; he meant that my love for her was causing her to try to hold on when she really wasn't able to. She needed to know that I would still love her, even if she couldn't hold on for me. She needed to know that I would be okay. And I am. My love for her hasn't wavered in the least bit; I still miss her, a lot actually, but I'm okay. You'll be okay too, right Grimm?"

He looks over to where Helena is laying. The only sound in the room is the steady beeping of the heart monitor. Then, he looks down to where our fingers are entwined, a small, woeful smile on his face.

"Yeah. I'll be alright."

"You have to let her know that, Grimm. You and Nnoitra both. You have to let her know that you'll be okay."

Grimmjow squeezes my hand before nodding to let me know he understands. I smile up at him and brush my lips across his knuckles.

"Take Nel to our place. She needs to get some sleep, and you do too." he orders. I frown.

"I'm fine, Grimmjow. I think you need more rest than either of us, but I know you're not going to leave. I'll take Nel to our place and Karin and Yuzu can watch her. I'm coming back though; it's non-negotiable." Grimmjow sighs and then nods. I stand and kiss him softly. I turn to Nel and scoop her up along with Shiin. "We're going to go to my house, okay Nel?"

"Okay, Itsygo. But I get to kiss Auntie goodbye first." I smile and carry the little girl to Helena's bedside. I lower her down until she's above the comatose woman's face and she kisses her aunt's cheek softly. "I love you, Auntie. Goodbye."

Her words sound so final. It's almost as if she doesn't believe she'll see Helena alive again. I feel a lump form in my throat as I look at Grimmjow. His thoughts must be along the same line as mine because he looks to be fighting tears. I've never seen Grimmjow even come close to crying. My attention is drawn back to the little girl in my arms as she buries her face in my chest.

"Okay. We can go now, Itsygo." Her voice is muffled but I can hear the slight quiver. Shiin lets out a soft mewl and licks at Nel's hand, trying to comfort her. I put a hand on her soft green hair.

"I'll be back soon, Grimm."

* * *

Once I'm home, I call Karin's cell phone after putting Nel in the bathtub. I sit on the toilet and watch the little girl play with the bubbles in the water as I wait for my sister to answer the phone.

"Hey, Ichi-nii. What's up?" she answers, finally. I sigh before speaking.

"Hey, Karin. I need you and Yuzu to do me a huge favor. Grimm's mom is in the hospital and we have to take care of his little cousin. I don't want to leave Grimm alone at the hospital, so would you two mind staying here in the penthouse with Nel for a few days?"

"No problem, Ichi-nii. We'll be there as soon as Yuzu comes back from her meeting."

"What meeting?"

"Oh, she went to meet with some potential buyers. They really like her designs; this could be her big break, Ichi-nii."

"That's great, Karin. Tell Yuzu I said congratulations. I know she'll do well, just like mom." I say. Karin lets out a wistful sigh.

"Yeah. Give Grimm-nii our condolences. We'll be there soon."

"Thanks, Karin. Love you."

"Love you too, Ichi-nii." I hang up the phone and turn my attention back to Nel who is now looking at me with her wide, innocent eyes. I don't think she speaks Japanese, which is why I always speak German around her.

"You get to meet my sisters, Nel. They'll take care of you while Grimm and I are at the hospital, okay?" Nel nods before turning to play with the bubbles again.

"Nel was supposed to have a sister, but Nel's sister died when we were in mommy's belly. Mommy said it was okay because she had Nel, but Nel knew she was sad. Just like Nel knows Grimmy is sad because Auntie is going to die soon." My eyes widen as I listen to the little girl's speech. She seems so insightful that it's almost scary. "Nel thinks Grimmy will be okay because he has Itsygo. You love Grimmy, right, Itsygo?"

"Of course I do, Nel. More than anything." I respond. Nel nods before going quiet once more. She doesn't look at me when she speaks again.

"Would you die for Grimmy, Itsygo?" Her tone sends a chill down my spine. The way this five-year-old talks about death like it's a discussion about what's for dinner really bothers me. "If Grimmy was going to die, would you save him, Itsygo?"

Damn, where the fuck did that come from? It seems out of nowhere, although I find that it's really not that hard to answer her question. You'd think it'd take hours of thinking, or a stroll around the countryside while listening to  _Dust in the Wind_  for me to answer, but it doesn't. I don't need to think about anything. Grimmjow means everything to me. My life doesn't exist without him. He  _is_  my life.

"Yes, Nel. I would do whatever I had to to save him."

* * *

I walk into Helena's room and shut the door behind me quietly. Grimmjow's head is resting on his arms on the bed; I assume he's asleep. I sigh and run a hand through my hair before sitting the food Yuzu gave me down on the table at the foot of Helena's bed. I make my way to where Grimmjow is and pull up a chair to sit next to him.

"Grimm?" He stirs awake at the sound of my voice.

"Hey. Is Nel okay?" he asks. I smile and nod.

"Karin and Yuzu love her. Yuzu is the only one who can really talk to her though, because Karin only speaks Japanese. They'd put Nel down for a nap when I left. Yuzu sent food for you." I pick the bowl up and give it to Grimmjow. He takes it and looks back at his mother.

"I think she'd like Karin and Yuzu. She likes you a lot." he says. I nod and Grimmjow continues. "I never talked to her about any of the people I got involved with before you. I didn't really feel the need to. She's so important to me, and those people weren't. No one means more to me than her. Except you."

I feel like crying. I have to say, this is the most that Grimmjow has opened up to me in all the time we've been together. It makes me happy, even if he isn't looking at me as he speaks.

"My father always told me that if I ever expressed myself I'd be weak. He said I could never be weak. 'The son of Fuishi Akihiko will never be seen as weak', is what he said. That was when I was eleven. I just realized, I've never told mom or Nnoitra that I love them. You're the only person I've ever been able to say it to. I guess it's because you aren't a part of that, of the family, I mean. Everything is so set, you know? It's like it was decided for me and I never had the chance to choose. I still don't."

Okay, he lost me. Da fuh is he talking about?

"What do you mean, Grimm?" He just shakes his head and doesn't respond.

"I could never decide anything without it coming with a test. Just because I'm his son. He probably would've found a way to turn my relationship with you into some kind of test; probably a loyalty test. He'd do something fucking crazy like kidnap you. Then again, he'd probably just find a way to get you to leave me. He never accepted that I'm bisexual. He never accepted anything except absolute loyalty to him and to..." He trails off, furrowing his eyebrows as he stares at his unmoving mother. "He didn't deserve her. The way he treated her...God, it pissed me off. He just yelled at her for no fucking reason half the time and the other half he spent pounding on her. You know why he did that? Because he could. Because she was weak. He once said to me, 'This is what happens when you are weak', while he slapped my mother across the face. I was only eight; I couldn't protect her. I...I still can't."

I don't know what to say. With what Grimmjow has said, his father was a horrible man. What kind of person would do that? I can't help but think that Grimmjow thinks he'll turn into him. I don't think that will happen though. I do think it's a miracle that Grimmjow is the amazing person that he is today, and I'd like to think it has everything to do with the woman laying in front of us dying. I touch Grimmjow's face and he leans into my touch.

"You are not him, Grimmjow. You are never going to become him." I say. Grimmjow tenses and a strained expression crosses his features. He turns away from me. He says it so quietly that I almost don't hear him.

"I already am."

There's no need for me to push it. He'll explain that when he's ready. A light knock at the door interrupts my musings. A beautiful dark skinned woman with purple hair pulled into a high ponytail and cat-like golden eyes walks in with a large bouquet of roses. She smirks when Grimmjow looks at her and rolls his eyes. She sits the roses down on the table by the window before crossing the room to stand by Helena's bedside.

"What are you doing here, Yoruichi?" Grimmjow asks, curtly. Yoruichi smiles softly at Helena's unmoving form.

"What do you think I'm doing, Grimmjow?" she responds. She reaches out and touches Helena's hair. She gives a wistful sigh. "She always had such beautiful hair. Just like you have now."

"What do you want?" he asks. Yoruichi sighs and turns to Grimmjow.

"I wish you'd cut the bullshit, Grimmjow. I'm obviously here because I want to help you. I've been associated with your family since before you were born. You're like family to me, and so is Helena. I have information for you, but I don't think you'll want Ichigo to hear it." She turns towards me and smiles softly. "Ichigo, could you give us some privacy for just a few minutes?"

"Sure." I say, even though I don't want to leave. I feel like what she's going to say is something I'd want to hear, even if Grimmjow doesn't want me to hear it. Nonetheless, I stand and exit the room, but not before making eye contact with Grimmjow so he understands that he'll have some explaining to do later, like why this woman that I've neither met nor heard about knows my name.

I walk down the hallway with my hands in my pockets as I think. When did everything turn to shit? For five years, everything's been great. Now, I have doubts and Grimmjow has entirely too many secrets. I'm still not one hundred percent sure about that Inoue girl; I talked to Shiro about it the night of the party. He contested that she was his girlfriend, but he hesitated. It was almost as if he didn't know about it before I said anything to him. Nnoitra is a complete shithead. He's been here at the hospital  _once_. I made sure to uphold a cordial façade for the sake of the fact that it's his mother dying just like it's Grimmjow's, but he pissed me off when he kept staring at me, like I wasn't supposed to be there. Like the fuck is wrong with him? I know he's Grimmjow's brother, but it just seems like there's something off about him. I can't put my finger on it, but I know I don't trust him.

"Kurosaki?" I hear. I look up to see Kuchiki looking down his nose at me. I give him a deadpan expression.

"Kuchiki." I say. He stares at me a bit longer. I narrow my eyes. "What?"

"You are an idiot." he says. He steps around me and I grab the sleeve of his lab coat to keep him from walking away.

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?" I growl. The stoic doctor pushes my hand off of his arm before wiping at it like I'm dirty or something. I roll my eyes.

"It means that you are a person of subnormal intelligence. You have to be to have been with Jaegerjaquez for this long and not figure out who he really is." I furrow my brows, expressing my confusion. What the hell is he talking about? "I cannot tell you any more than I have. If you want to know, it is something he will have to tell you himself." With that, Kuchiki continues down the hallway in the opposite direction. Leave it to Kuchiki to be so damn snooty, cryptic, and annoying. I don't know how Renji puts up with him.

Now I'm worried again. What did he mean by 'who he really is'? He makes it sound like Grimmjow has another life that I don't know about or something. That's not possible, though. I know Grimmjow has secrets, but he loves me. He wouldn't keep a secret of that magnitude from me, would he?

I make my way back to Helena's room after a walk around the ICU. When I go inside, Yoruichi is gone and Grimmjow is standing by the window looking pissed as all hell. I'm not even going to ask. I just walk to my chair and sit down. I watch Grimmjow from where I'm sitting. He looks so tired. I'm really worried about him.

"Grimmjow?" I say. He doesn't look at me. He just keeps glaring daggers out the window. I stand and cross the room to him, turning him to face me. He looks down at me, his gaze softening automatically. I bring our lips together gently. I smooth my hand through his hair when I pull away. "I don't know what's wrong, but I don't want you worrying about anything but your mother, okay?"

He pulls away from my embrace and turns back to the window.

"I wish it was that simple."

"You don't have to tell me anything, okay? Just...do me a favor?"

"What?"

"Call Retsu and have her come here to be with Helena. I need you to go home and rest. Please?" Grimmjow looks back at Helena and sighs.

"Alright."

* * *

When we finally make it back home, the sight we're greeted with brings a smile to both of our faces. Karin and Yuzu sit on the floor in the living room with Nel dancing and laughing in the center.

"Grimmy! Itsygo!" she exclaims when she catches sight of us. She runs and latches onto Grimmjow's legs. He picks her up and tickles her. "Is Nel pretty?"

My sisters have put makeup on her, but nothing too crazy. She looks adorable, even with her scar.

"You're very pretty, Nel." I say, pinching her nose. She giggles.

"You're still a mutt." Grimmjow says, as he tickles her again. He looks at the clock. "Alright, mutt, it's time for you to go to bed."

"No! Nel wants to stay up and play with Yuzu and Karin!"

"It's okay, Nel, we'll still be here when you wake up. You really should go to bed now." Yuzu says, motherly.

"Okay. But Grimmy has to read Nel a bedtime story."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Grimmjow..." I say as a warning. He looks at me and rolls his eyes.

"Fine, shit."

"Don't curse in front of her!" Karin yells.

"How do you know I said a curse word?" he asks.

"Well, duh. I made Yuzu teach me the curse words." Grimmjow rolls his eyes before heading down the hallway.

"Goodnight, Yuzu and Karin and Itsygo!" Nel calls cheerily. The three of us say goodnight to Nel before I sit down on the floor with my sisters.

"She's such a sweet little girl. It's so sad that she has to go through this so soon after losing her mother." Yuzu says, quietly. Karin nods in assent.

"Is everything okay between you and Grimm-nii?" she asks, suddenly. I raise an eyebrow.

"Yes. Why?"

"I heard you asking that albino man at Grimm-nii's birthday party about some girl. He's not cheating on you is he? Because I'll kill him."

"Don't worry about that, Karin. It was all a big misunderstanding." At least I hope it was. "And don't try to kill Grimmjow. He's going through enough. He doesn't have time to worry about petty shit." I don't mean to sound clippy, but I guess I'm coming off harsh, since Yuzu looks like she might cry and Karin looks like she wants to castrate me.

"I'm gonna let that slide since you're right about Grimm-nii having a lot on his mind, but don't think for a second that I won't kill you with a fork if you get snippy with me again." I can't help but crack up at what she said. I laugh a bit and Yuzu joins in.

"How about a movie, guys? It's been a while since we were all together and everything's just been gloomy since we've been here. I've missed spending time with the both of you." I nod in agreement and so does Karin. It's been about six months since the last time both my sisters were in Japan. I stand up and open the cabinet on the entertainment center and search for our favorite movie.

" _Finding Nemo_? Don't you think we're all a little old for that movie?" Karin comments. I clutch the DVD to my chest and gasp in unison with Yuzu.

"Never!" we both hiss.

"Oh sure, what on Earth was I thinking? I'm only twenty-five. Definitely not too old for  _Finding Nemo_."

"Exactly." I say, sticking my tongue out at her. Thinking we're too old for  _Finding Nemo_. Bull fucking shit.

After Yuzu and I get strawberry PopTarts and grape soda from the kitchen, Karin starts the movie. About halfway through, and it feels like we're kids again and all of the shit that's happening right now doesn't even matter.

"Squirt totally rocks!" Karin says, with a giggle.

"He's completely adorable." Yuzu says with a giggle of her own. I agree.

"I'm gonna go check on Nel and Grimm. I'll be right back." I say. The girls shush me as Squirt tries to explain exiting the EAC to Marlon. I smile before getting off the floor and heading down the hall. I open the door to the guest room we've given to Nel trying to be as quiet as possible. A sight to behold indeed. I force myself not to "awwww". Grimm and Nel are both asleep on the queen-sized bed, with Grimm still holding on to a copy of  _If You Give a Mouse a Cookie_. Nel has her thumb in her mouth, while her other little fist clutches Grimmjow's shirt. I step back out of the room and grab a blanket from the linen closet. Once I've covered both of them with it, I head back to the living room. The movie should be over soon.

"Okay, guys, I'm going to bed." I state. Yuzu turns to me and looks at me with her big doe eyes that she never really grew into.

"Can we sleep with you, Ichi-nii?" Karin turns to me too, giving me the same look. It'll be just like when we were young. How could I possibly say no?

"Sure." I say, smiling softly.

* * *

The sun streams through the floor-to-ceiling window and I decide to get up and shut the curtains before Karin wakes up. Out of the three of us, she's definitely not the morning person. Leaving the girls in the bed, I head out of the bedroom door and down the hall to Nel's room. Nel is still sleeping, but Grimmjow is nowhere to be found. I head into the living room, but he's not there either.

"Grimm?" I call.

"On the terrace, Ichi." I cross the living room and head out the balcony door. Grimmjow stands on the terrace, his gorgeous blue eyes raking across the view provided to them by Tokyo. After a few seconds, he turns around and opens his arms, which I readily fall into. For a while, we just stand holding on to each other as if for dear life. "I'm sorry, Ichi."

I lift my head from his chest and raise an eyebrow as I look at him.

"Sorry for what?"

"For everything that's been going on lately. For hiding shit from you and getting you involved with my family. I should've just handled shit on my own." I think I want to hit him.

"Grimm, I love you. You know that right?" He nods. "Then why would you think for a second that you had to go through any of this alone? You mean everything to me, Grimmjow. Sure, I'm more than a little pissed that you chose to hide so many things from me, but none of that changes the way I feel about you. I already told you once that I'll always be here for you. It's up to you to accept that."

Grimmjow looks like he wants to say something. He doesn't and kisses me instead. I guess that's okay too. A throat being cleared causes us to separate. Yuzu stands timidly, holding Nel who's rubbing her left eye.

"I'm going to start breakfast. Ichi-nii, could you help?" she asks. I nod. "Grimm-nii, you have a visitor."

Grimmjow and I leave the terrace. I follow Yuzu to the kitchen while Grimmjow heads into the living room. Yuzu sits Nel on the counter before going to the refrigerator and pulling out the ingredients she needs.

"Karin still sleeping?" I ask.

"Umhmm. So who's that man that came to see Grimm-nii?" I peek around the corner into the living room. A handsome sleepy-looking man sits in the armchair adjacent to the couch where Grimmjow is sitting. I shrug as I return to my original position leaning against the counter.

"Not a clue." Yuzu looks at me incredulously. "I genuinely don't know. Could be an old friend or distant relative."

"Wouldn't you know him if he was?" she asks. I shake my head.

"Probably not." Yuzu doesn't ask anymore questions. I pull the orange juice from the refrigerator and pour myself and Nel a glass. It's quiet as Yuzu cuts vegetables for the omelets she's going to make. The only other sound is the soft sizzle of the butter she's put into the skillet. It's quiet enough for me to hear the conversation in the living room.

"It'll be over soon. Her kidneys are failing; hasn't woken up since she got there." Grimmjow says. I hear a soft exhale.

"I'm sorry, Grimm. I know how much she means to you." the other man says gently.

"Yeah. I don't want her to suffer anymore. If dying will free her, than I don't mind letting her go."

"I hate to contribute to your troubles, but I have news from Hisagi. The mission in North Carolina was a failure. Arruruerie is dead."

Dead? Some guy is dead and Grimmjow has something to do with it? Who is Hisagi? And who is this man in our living room for that matter?

"Ichi-nii? Is everything alright?" Yuzu asks, snapping me out of the trance-like state I've fallen into. I nod after a few seconds. She turns back to the stove. "After breakfast, you and Grimm-nii should go back to the hospital, okay?"

I guess Yuzu heard what Grimmjow said too. I sigh and sip from my orange juice.

"Itsygo?" Nel calls quietly. I turn to her. "Is Nel going to be all alone when Auntie dies?" I stroke her hair softly.

"No, Nel. Grimm and I are going to take care of you."

"You're going to adopt her, then?" Yuzu asks as she pulls plates from the cabinets. I nod. "That's great. Once you and Grimm-nii are married, you'll have your own little family. Dad will be so happy."

"Yeah." I say, picking Nel up from the counter. I carry her into the dining room and sit her down in one of the chairs. Yuzu comes in after me and places an omelet in front of her. I walk into the living room. The man looks up at me with his sleepy grey eyes. He stands and stretches languidly.

"Well, I guess that's all for now, Grimmjow. I will contact you when more information becomes available." The man nods to me and I return the gesture. I wait until he's gone to approach Grimmjow.

"Do you want breakfast, Grimm?" I ask, sitting down next to him. He seems to be concentrating on something rather hard; his brows are furrowed as he stares off into space. I pull on his arm gently. "C'mon, Grimm. You should eat." He finally turns to me; looking at me as if he's seeing me for the first time.

"What? Oh. Yeah, I guess so." He stands and heads for the dining area.

"After breakfast we'll go back to the hospital, okay?" Grimmjow nods before he takes a seat at the head of the table. His movements are robotic. It's like he's numb.

"Grimmy, would you like Nel to sing Auntie's lullaby to you?" Nel asks around a mouthful of egg. Grimmjow gives a ghost of a smile before he nods. Yuzu and a groggy Karin join us at the table as Nel begins to sing,

_Bist du bei mir, geh ich mit Freuden_

_zum Sterben und zu meiner Ruh._

_Ach, wie vergnügt wär so mein Ende,_

_es drückten deine schönen Hände_

_mir die getreuen Augen zu!_

Grimmjow seems to relax a little as Nel finishes the little tune. Though she sings it sweetly, I feel a bit unsettled by it, since I know what it means.

"Thanks, Nel."

"You're welcome, Grimmy. Sing it to Auntie for me when you see her today, okay?" Grimmjow nods.

"Alright." I shake my head and chuckle. He's not going to do that.

* * *

When we arrive at the hospital, Grimmjow heads straight for the ICU. I stay behind and go to the cardiologic ward. It's been a while since I've been at the hospital to work and I'd like to check up on some things. I stop by the lounge where Renji and another doctor, Kira Izuru, are talking. Renji stops mid-sentence to greet me.

"Hey, Ichigo! How's everything with Jaegerjaquez's mother?" he asks. I shake my head solemnly. Renji nods in understanding. "Tsumugiya was released yesterday."

"That's good. That's what I was going to ask you about anyway."

"Yeah, I saw her dad talking to a really tall guy with an eyepatch before they left. Hey, isn't that Jaegerjaquez's brother?" Nnoitra was here?

"Yeah, that's him. Do you know what they were talking about?" I ask. It's really a dumb ass question. Of course Renji's nosy ass knows what they were talking about.

"I heard something about money. I assume Jaegerjaquez's brother was unhappy about him paying for Tsumugiya's surgery. He also said something about him 'abandoning the family', but I was like, 'he's right here, you dumbass'..."

Renji's rambling fades off as I space out. What the hell was Nnoitra doing here harassing Shunsui when he should have been with his dying mother? I interrupt Renji. Does he ever shut the fuck up?

"I have to go. Thanks for keeping up with Ururu for me." I say as I leave. I walk quickly to Helena's room. Grimmjow is sitting in his usual spot next to her bed, staring wistfully at her stoic face. I sit down next to him. I don't really want to bother him while he's obviously grieving, so I decide to keep my speculations about Nnoitra to myself. That is until the idiot of the hour strolls into the room as if he's got not a care in the goddamned world. Grimmjow glances up at him for a moment before his pensive gaze returns to Helena.

"Where the hell have you been?" he asks dryly. Nnoitra tsks before crossing the room to stare out the window.

"Here and there. To and fro. Hither and yon'." Ugh, fucking asshole. Grimmjow stands but doesn't leave Helena's bedside.

"Stop fucking playing around, Nnoi. Where the hell were you, huh? You haven't been here since she got here. You let them put a fucking feeding tube in her!" Nnoitra turns to face Grimmjow languidly.

"I had things to take care of. You know that."

"This shit shouldn't be more important to you than her.  _You_  know that."

The two adoptive brothers stare each other down for a while as I watch on in silence. I don't feel it's my place to say anything although I have plenty of opinions, especially about Nnoitra.

"So you expect me to just abandon responsibilities for this?" Nnoitra asks coldly. Grimmjow seems to bare his teeth at him as he responds,

"I expect you to be here. You're my brother; this is your mother just like she's mine."

"She is weak."

I hold Grimmjow back before he can attack Nnoitra. I hug him around his waist as he growls angrily.

"I'll fucking kill you if you ever call her that again!" I continue to hold on to Grimmjow as I direct my gaze at Nnoitra.

"I think you should go." He continues to stand there, staring at the both of us.

"So you think you can tell me what I should do just because you're his bitch, huh?" Alright, now I'm pissed the fuck off. I push Grimmjow down in his chair and turn to him, my scowl set fully in place.

"Stay." He glares angrily at Nnoitra and then returns his attention to Helena. I turn back to Nnoitra. "Can I speak to you in the hallway, Nnoitra?"

"Fuck no." he responds crossing his arms over his chest. I stroll up to him and look up at him, hoping my irritation is showing in my eyes.

"Alright, let me rephrase. We're gonna go in the hallway and I'm gonna tell you exactly what I think of your sorry ass and exactly where the fuck you can go." Nnoitra tsks again but walks out of the room nonetheless. I turn to Grimmjow. "I'll be right back."

I step out of the room, glaring at the waste of fucking oxygen and vital organs that is Nnoitra. I always knew I didn't like him, and what just transpired did not change my opinion of him in the slightest.

"Keep looking down on me, Kurosaki, and I'll  _show_  you where the fuck you can go." he growls. I roll my eyes.

"I want to know what you were doing interrogating Shunsui yesterday."

"That's none of your business."

"Were you trying to force him to pay Grimmjow back for covering his daughter's surgery?" I ask. I have a strong feeling that that's exactly what he was doing.

"He has a lot of debt to Grimmjow already; that was just an add on. I was seeking to collect with interest." Nnoitra responds. I knew it.

"You're a piece of shit, you know that? You're a worthless piece of shit and if you died, the absence of your shitty existence would make the world a much better place."

"So you think you're better than me, that's what it is?"

"Not just me. I also think whale piss is better than you." I say, leaning against the wall. "You always look at me like I don't belong here when the fact of the matter is, I do. I love Grimmjow and I want to support him while he goes through this loss. You're supposed to be his brother; you should want to do the same, but you're not. And to call her that when you know and experienced for yourself everything that's happened with her and and your father, it only increases my absolute disdain for you."

"You think you belong here, huh? In this world? You don't know shit about us, about our family. You think you can come in here so high and mighty, telling me what the fuck I should do when Grimmjow isn't even telling you the whole story. You're just a bitch that he doesn't have to pay for."

"What are you talking about?" I ask. Nnoitra lets out a gravelly laugh.

"It's not my job to tell you if you're too dumb to figure it out yourself." I grit my teeth as he starts to stroll toward the exit. "I have business to take care of."

"Fucking dickslit." I mumble to myself as I walk back into the room. Grimmjow has his head bowed and his eyes closed. The soft sound of Helena's slowly beeping heart monitor fills the room. Once I get closer, I can hear him humming the tune of the lullaby that Nel sang earlier.

_Bist du bei mir, geh ich mit Freuden_

_zum Sterben und zu meiner Ruh._

_Ach, wie vergnügt wär so mein Ende,_

_es drückten deine schönen Hände_

_mir die getreuen Augen zu..._

"Ichigo, there's something I need to tell you. It's something I should have told you a long time ago." I sit down next to him and he takes both of my hands in his. "I want to tell you. She wanted me to tell you but I didn't. I was too scared of losing you, but I know if I keep this from you any longer it's only going to make the situation worse."

"What is it, Grimmjow?"

"I...I'm..." I almost jump out of my skin as the once serene sound of the heart monitor suddenly turns into one continuous blare. She's...flatlined. Grimmjow's head snaps in the direction of the sound. The look in his eyes causes a lump to form in my throat. He lets go of my hands and clings to the sheets covering Helena's now lifeless form. "No...mom...no."

I turn away. I've never heard Grimmjow sound so...despaired. I don't think I could stand it if I saw him cry, but this could be the thing that breaks him down; it could break both of us down.


	5. Bury Me...

Chapter V: _Bury Me..._

I feel numb.  It’s like an ever present cloud of darkness that’s shrouding my entire existence in...wait, that sounds fucking emo as shit.  Of course losing her brings out something resemblant of emotion in me but that’s not important.  I have to keep a level head; I can’t afford to lose my shit.  I have a funeral to plan after all and everything has to be perfect for her.  I can’t very well do that if I’m in a corner bawling my fucking eyes out like a little bitch now can I?

I admit that I almost cried when I heard the blare of the heart monitor signaling that she was dead.  Fortunately, I’d already taken the time to prepare mentally for losing her.  In truth, I wanted her to die.  I hated to see her suffer so much for so long.  It hurts that she’s gone, but I know for damn sure she’s in a much better place than this shithole called “the world”.

Ichigo seems to be reliving the whole ordeal that he went through when he lost his mother.  I also think some of his current state of depression is for me; it’s like he’s taking on my pain along with his.  If I’m being honest, it’s much easier dealing with this with him here.  I don’t think I could manage to stay sane if it weren’t for him.

“Grimm, are you hungry?” he asks.  I tear my attention away from my laptop.  Ichigo is standing in the doorway of my home office wearing my pajama pants.  His bright orange hair is flat to his head and drips with water that’s absorbed by the towel around his neck.  He leans against the doorframe and crosses his arms over his bare chest.  “Yuzu made breakfast.”

“You sure get lazy when your sister comes home.” I say, with a playful smirk.  He chuckles softly before crossing the room and making himself comfortable in my lap.

“It’s not my fault that she doesn’t let me cook when she’s here.” he states.  He leans forward, presumably to get a better look at my laptop screen.  “What are you doing anyway?”

“If you must know, nosy ass,” I tease, nudging him slightly, “I’m having a conversation with my attorney about adopting Nel.”  Ichigo’s face lights up with his smile.

“Really?” he asks.  I nod.

“Yes, really, Ichigo.  And I was just about to tell Grimmjow what I found in his mother’s will when you interrupted.” Rukia Kuchiki, Byakuya’s younger sister and my attorney, comments snarkily.  Ichigo rolls his eyes and sticks his tongue out at Rukia. “Nice to see you too, Ichigo.  Anyway, can I continue now?”

“By all means, angry lady.” I say, jokingly.  Rukia rolls her gigantic eyes before continuing.

“The estate was left to you.  It’s up to you to decide what to do with it.”

“Give it to Retsu.  I have no ties to that place now that she’s gone.” Rukia nods and scribbles some notes before speaking again.

“She left all her monetary assets to you as well.”

“Put all of it in a fund for Nel.”

“I must admit, it’s rather awkward for me to have such a serious conversation while you have your princess in your lap, Grimmjow.” she says.  Ichigo scoffs, probably at being called “princess”.

“Well, fuck you then, Rukia.” Ichigo sticks his tongue out at her again before turning around and kissing me softly.  “I’ll put your breakfast in the fridge.”

Once he’s gone, Rukia sighs.

“How long are you planning to keep this from him, Grimmjow?” she asks, all playfulness in her voice gone.  She stares me down through the computer screen and I run a hand across my face before sighing myself.

“I don’t know.  I was going to tell him, but...”

“Save it.  I know you love Ichigo, but keeping something of this nature a secret from him is just not right.  If you’re not careful, he may find out about what you do from someone else in a very unsavory manner.  Now, about those documents you needed for Spain.”

“How much are they going to cost me?” I ask, glad that the subject has shifted away from my other life.  Sort of.  Rukia sends me a document and I open it.  “Fucking forty-two million yen?”

“Hey, don’t get all stingy with me, sir.  I’m an attorney, and creating fraudulent documents could get me disbarred.  You better be glad we’re friends.  And don’t act like that; this is fucking pocket change to you and you know it.”

“Alright, whatever.  Last thing I need from you is the adoption papers.”

“I’ll mail them to you this afternoon.  It may be best if you leave Ichigo’s name off of them.  Just as a precautionary until you’ve gone to Spain.” she responds.

“Alright.  Thanks, Rukia.”

“Yeah, yeah.  I want my money by tonight.” Rukia signs off before I can respond and I shut my laptop and leave the room heading for the kitchen.  The girls sit at the table giggling about something or another while Ichigo watches them with a small smile on his face.  Nel catches sight of me and hops out of her chair to attack my legs like she always does.  I smile and pick her up.

“Grimmy, I missed you!  You were gone forever.” she says.  Ichigo’s sisters “aww” and I roll my eyes.

"I think you may be exaggerating, Nel." I sit down at the head of the table, balancing Nel in my lap.  Yuzu gets up and brings me my breakfast.  "Thanks, Yuzu."

"You're welcome, Grimm-nii."

"Ichigo, after the funeral, you and I are going to Spain."

"Spain?  Why?" he asks.  I smile a little.

"You'll see."

"About the funeral, Grimm-nii.  Karin and I would like to come.  Ichi-nii told us it's supposed to be a private ceremony and I know that we didn't know Helena-san at all, but we'd very much like to support you in your time of need.  You've become a second brother to us since you and Ichi-nii have been together, and it would mean the world to us if we could be there for the both of you."

"Ditto." Karin says.  I smile and nod.

"You didn't even have to ask."

 

* * *

 

I stare blankly at Urahara as his fingers race over the keys of his laptop.  I’ve been here for like an hour and he still hasn’t told me why he called me here.  I swear if Shiro fidgets in his seat one more time, I’m gonna break his fucking legs.  Finally, Urahara stops speed typing and directs his attention at Shiro and me.  He has that oddly serious look on his face that makes me uncomfortable.

“I’m sure you’re aware of the happenings that have taken place as of late?” he asks.  I nod.  Well, duh.  “I’m going to explain to you the exact tactic Aizen is using to take your territory, and I’m going to explain how it’s working.”

“Alright.  I’m listening.”

“You’re familiar with the word ‘blitzkrieg’?  I assume so since you speak fluent German and have an IQ greater than that of most people deemed to be geniuses.” I nod again.  “Good.  That is definitely the approach that Aizen is taking.  He’s coming in quick and hitting you where it hurts.”

“If he were trying to hurt F6’s revenue intake, wouldn’t he have gone for Seireitei?  That pulls more than Las Noches in a month.” Shiro interjects.

“It would have been too obvious if he took Seireitei.  Tell me, Jaegerjaquez-sama, did you ever think for a second that Aizen would be able to take any of your territory, let alone one of your most prominent brothels?”

“Well, no.  But I guess I underestimated my opponent.” I respond.  Urahara shakes his head.

“I do not believe that you underestimated the opponent, Jaegerjaquez-sama.  I believe you overestimated one of your allies.”

I can feel my anger increasing with every moment that passes.  The sentence for betraying the clan is death.  That’s another change that I made.  If my father had taken Aizen out the moment he overstepped his boundaries in the first place, I wouldn’t be dealing with this shit right now.  Who would be stupid enough to pull this shit?

“It would have to be someone who has access to everything, perhaps one of your techs?” Urahara suggests.  I hear Shiro cracking his knuckles.  He’s such an animal.  I bet he’s already thinking of ways to torture every tech in headquarters.  “If not them, I suggest you look within your Fracción.”

“Thanks Urahara.  Yoruichi came to the hospital a bit before mom died.  She told me she sold to some of Aizen’s people.  She said he’s been upping the ammo as of late.  You think he wants to battle?” I ask.  Urahara nods.

“I think Aizen has been wanting to battle since the day he betrayed your father.  This is an ancient fight, Grimmjow.  I fear you’ve drawn the short end of the stick, having to finish what was started by your elders.  I think it’s worse for you because you’ve kept the one you love in the dark about everything; this situation is particularly dangerous for Ichigo simply because of how uninformed he is.  You need to tell him before it’s too late.”

I know Urahara is right.  It’s my fault for hiding everything from him.  I was too scared that he’d leave if I told him, but now I can potentially lose him because I didn’t.  I’ve been completely selfish for the past five years and now the only person left in this world that I truly love is in danger because I was trying to protect him.  I feel like an idiot.  I know for sure that I have to get Ichigo out of here now.  I don’t care about myself; I just need to make sure he’s safe.  It hurts just to think about what might happen if that bastard Aizen gets his hands on Ichi.

“Thanks for clearing that up, Urahara.  C’mon, Shiro.  We got work to do.”

It’s time to create a rat-trap.

 

* * *

 

I park in the underground garage of F6 headquarters and Shiro and I get out of the car and walk towards the entrance.  He’s been eerily quiet since we left Urahara’s hideout.  I don’t like it when Shiro’s quiet.

“What’s eatin’ you, whiteboy?” I ask.  Shiro looks at me out of the corner of his eye.  “C’mon, I know something’s up.  Usually you’d be talking about how you’re gonna make those motherfuckers squeal.  What’s up?”

“How long have you been with King again?” he asks.  I raise an eyebrow.

“King?”

“You know who I’m talking about, Grimm.” I roll my eyes at the nickname he gave Ichigo after we’d been dating for about a year.  I still don’t know why he calls him that, and I've told him to stop multiple times, but that’s about as effective as putting out a fire with gasoline.

"Five years." I respond.  Shiro remains silent.  “Why?”

“You claim you love him, but you’ve put him in so much danger.  I don’t understand, Grimmjow.  This is quite the mess you’ve made.  You need to tell him.” Shiro’s voice is stern and severe, and I know he’s right.  Rukia’s right, Urahara’s right, and Shiro’s right.  I don’t want to lose Ichigo, though.  Would he leave me even after everything we’ve been through? “You even made me lie to him for you.”

“Can we focus on what we’re supposed to be doing right now, whiteboy?” Shiro glares at me heatedly, but doesn’t continue.  The elevator ride to the fifteenth floor is silent, the tension between us giving the atmosphere a carbon-monoxide-ish feel.  I hate it when he gets like this, especially when we're supposed to be working together.  "I'll talk to Hisagi.  You start questioning the techs.  Alright?"

"Anything you say, Sexta," Shiro responds dryly as the elevator door opens.  I sigh as he steps off.  I push the button for the seventh floor.  Hisagi should be there talking to Starrk, the official psychiatrist for F6.

Having a psychiatrist on hand was something I started.  I can't help but think that I'd be a very different person if I had a means to express the way I felt about everything that I went through as a kid.  But of course having a psychiatrist was not something my father would allow.  You know, with the whole "never show weakness" bit.

Starrk has been a good friend of mine since I was about seventeen.  We met in grad-school; I happened to meet him in a general psyche class that I was taking to pass the time.  He was the only person besides me who understood the difference between schizophrenia and dissociative personality disorder.  After I graduated, I kept contact with him and when he graduated, I hired him.

"Take your time, Hisagi.  You don't have to talk until you're ready," Starrk coaxes.  The black-haired male just stares at the floor, clenching his fists.

"They...he...I...I didn't..." he stutters.  I sit down in the chair next to Starrk's and watch the man.  He's more like a boy, really.  Only nineteen, but his father is an associate of the clan, so he was essentially obligated to work for me once he turned eighteen.  "I couldn't save him.  It's like they knew we were coming.  We were outnumbered, and Aaroniero told me to run.  I didn't want to leave him, but I didn't know what to do.  He's dead because of me."

I continue to watch the young man, his raw emotion causing the slightest tug at my conscious.  It's obvious that he was in love with Arruruerie.  He didn't die because of Hisagi.  He died because with both my ivy-league education and insanely high IQ, I wasn't smart enough to realize that there's always someone smarter.

I reach out and place a hand on Hisagi's shoulder.

"Don't worry about it, kid.  We all make mistakes.  It appears I made the biggest one of all.  Take a few weeks.  Visit your family.  Let them take care of you for a while," I say.  Hisagi nods and leaves the room.  I turn to Starrk who is scribbling notes into Hisagi's file.

"What was the news from Urahara?" he asks.

"There's a rat.  That's how the revenue was stolen, that's how Las Noches was taken, and that's how Aizen knew Arruruerie and Hisagi were coming to North Carolina.  Someone, perhaps even one of my Fracción, is feeding information to Aizen." Starrk directs his attention at me, a rare look of complete awareness on his face.

"Who could it be?  Surely no one is foolish enough to think they won't get caught," he says.  I shrug.

"I don't know.  We're starting with the techs.  I got Shiro on it."

"Do you need me to call in Harribel?"

"No.  I think I'm going to have her take care of something else for me," I reply as I stand to leave the room.

"Just know that I'm on your side, Grimmjow.  I always will be." I turn back to face him.

"I know.  See you at the funeral."

Starrk nods and I leave his office heading down the hallway toward the elevator.  I take it down to the basement.  Once I'm there, I take the stairs to the next level.  I can hear the sounds of business being handled.  Gurgling and soft coughing sounds escape from behind one of the doors.  I open the door and step inside the small room, closing it behind me.

I watch silently as Shiro pours water over the covered face of the male that's lying on the table.  When it seems that he'll stop breathing before I get any answers, I sigh.

"That's enough, Shiro.  How many times do I have to tell you?  They have to be alive to answer questions."  Shiro cackles darkly, before he stops pouring the water and peels the cloth off of the man's face.  It's one of the techs, Kugo Ginjo.  Shiro undoes the restraints and pulls him up roughly.  When he makes eye contact with me, I can see the disorientation caused by the waterboarding.  It's almost enough to make me feel bad. He's innocent, I know that, but he might give me a lead.  Shiro pulls him off of the table, tossing him unceremoniously into a chair and strapping him to it.

"Time to answer some questions, big guy," Shiro teases.  Kugo glares at him and doesn't speak.  I take a knee in front of him, as Shiro moves to prepare whatever twisted method he has for torturing this guy.

“I need you to help me, help you. I don't want to see you in this kind of pain, but when you disrespect me, there are retributions. . .”

“I’ve heard your little speech before, Sexta.  In fact, I’m the one who wrote it.” My eyes widen slightly.  Shiro nudges me and I stand. "You think you can intimidate me? You need my help; I don't need yours."

I know he's right, but the disrespect of his tone coupled with the fact that he knows I'm in need of his help pisses me off.

"Shiro. . ." The albino steps forward with a taser in his hand.  He plays with it for a second, before he smirks and places it against the skin of Kugo's neck.  The man clenches his fists but doesn't cry out.  Shiro continues to hold the taser until I tell him to stop.  When he does, Kugo's breathing has accelerated slightly, and sweat has broken out above his brow.  His eyes show defiance as he straightens his posture once more.  "What do you know about what's been happening within the clan as of late?"

"Everything. . .and nothing." he responds.  I roll my eyes, giving Shiro a nod.  He laughs before dry tasing Kugo in the exact same spot as before.  After about thirty seconds, I make him stop again.

"Answer the question."

"I know that one of the techs was an operative for the Suigetsu clan.  I also know that the mission to America was a bust because there's another operative within the ranks."

"How do you know all this?" I ask.  Kugo shrugs.

"I monitor the security cameras, the bugs, the phone taps, viruses, all of that is me."

"And you didn't think to inform your superiors of the operative before revenue was lost?" Another shrug.

"It was just a hunch then.  I started to notice some little glitches and chinks, but I just fixed them and moved on without thinking too much about it."

I heave a sigh, cross my arms over my chest and begin to pace.

"Did you know anything about North Carolina?" I ask.  Kugo shakes his head.

"I only heard Quinto say something about it to Ichimaru."  I stop pacing at that.  Ichimaru?  Gin?

Gin Ichimaru is a former informant for the clan.  He used to gather information about other clans, take care of things like paying off the police, and other activities of that sort.  He decided he wanted out a few years ago when he found out he had a long lost daughter.  I let him out without argument or punishment; what is he even doing near Nnoitra or anyone still affiliated with the clan?  And why is Nnoitra sharing information about the clan with someone who isn't a part if it anymore?

"When did you hear this?"

"A few days before Arruruerie and Hisagi left.  I didn't think anything of it.  I just thought Ichimaru had decided to return."

"Do you know anything else?" Kugo shook his head.

"That's all I know, I swear."

I decide to let him go without any further questions. He's already told me more than enough.  Shiro unstraps him and he stands, albeit with a little difficulty.

"You're free to go.  Next time, be sure to bring any suspicion or doubts you have to Shiro, Nnoitra, or me."

Kugo nods and Shiro lets him out of the room.

"That went better than I expected it to." he says, putting his taser away.

"Bring in the next one."

It's gonna be a long night.

 

* * *

 

_Helena Jaegerjaquez-Fuishi was born in the spring of 1956 in Mainz, Germany to Heinrich and Liesel Jaegerjaquez.  She had a brief stint as a supermodel, but in 1974, she met Akihiko Fuishi and after a three year relationship, they married and moved to Kyoto, Japan.  On August 1, 2013, she succumbed to a long time illness and died in Tokyo General Hospital.  She is survived by her sons, Nnoitra Gilga and Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez; a very special niece, Nelliel Tu Oderschwanck; and a host of close friends, including her personal nurse and friend, Yachiru Retsu Unohana._

I sigh as I stare at the obituary for the millionth time since the beginning of the funeral.  I decided to keep it short and simple, mostly because I don’t feel the need to tell my mother’s entire life story.  Those who knew her, know what they know, and those who didn’t know her should mind their motherfucking business.  I find myself unable to look at the casket where she lays.  I know she looks beautiful; I made sure to hire the best mortician.  It’s just kind of surreal.  It’s hard to believe that she’s really gone and I know that if I look, it’ll make it real.  So I keep my eyes downcast as Retsu calls me to speak.

“And now Helena-sama’s son Grimmjow will say a few words to say goodbye to his mother.”

I look over at Ichigo and he grips my hand, smiling softly.  I stand and make my way to the front, still avoiding the casket.  I take a deep breath before I begin to speak.

“On August 1, 2013, I lost someone very important to me.  She wasn’t just my mother; she was my best friend, the only person in the world who truly understood me.  Growing up, for various reasons, I never felt that my father accepted me, so I always confided in my mom.  She never judged me, and she always let me know how much she loved me.  I never did the same for her.  For all the time I had her, I never told her once how much I really loved her; it is my one and only regret.  Now that she’s gone, I feel like I’ve lost a part of myself.  You might as well bury me too.”

I don’t want to keep talking.  I’ve already said far too much; I’ve already broken so many rules.  If I keep talking, I’ll break the biggest rule of all.  I know I’ll cry if I continue.  I chance a look at the casket.  She looks so beautiful.  They managed to get some color back in her skin, though her cheeks are still sunken from all the weight she lost over the years.  Her hair is still a pastel blue, but it doesn’t look as wiry as it did before.  She’s wearing a simple white dress and underneath her hands rests a bouquet of chrysanthemums, her favorite flowers.  But she’s dead.  I’ll never see the light in her eyes, or see her beautiful smile, or hear her laugh, or be comforted by her soothing voice, ever again.  I am completely alone.

I look over at Ichigo once more, and am surprised to see his gorgeous brown eyes welling with tears.  He’s crying for me.  Somehow, it makes me feel stronger.

“I know that I can’t give up though.  I have to keep living for her, for Nel, and for Ichigo.  I know that’s what she’d want me to do.”  I walk over to the casket and touch her hand.  “Ich liebe dich, mama.  Für immer.”

Once I return to my seat next to Ichigo, I take his hand in my own and kiss it.  He smiles as Nel wipes at the tears that are now flowing freely down his cheeks.

“Don’t cry, Itsygo.  Grimmy will be alright.  He has us,” Nel says.  Ichigo nods and hugs her close to him.  Then he turns to me, his eyes shimmering so beautifully.

“I’ll always be here for you, Grimmjow.”

Somehow, I find that hard to believe.

 

* * *

 

I know I made the right decision by having a private ceremony.  I don’t think I have the stomach for fake smiles and empty condolences.  The only people that are here are the people who matter to me and my mom.  And then there’s Nnoi.  He’s been standing near the exit giving Ichigo death glares for the past hour.  I can’t say that I’m too pleased with him right now, especially after that whole scene at the hospital.  It was enough to piss me off when he called her weak, but then when he threatened Ichigo, I really wanted to hurt him.

“That’s it.  I’ve had enough of his fucking one-eyed stare.  I’m gonna give him a piece of my mind,” Ichigo exclaims suddenly.  I reach out to stop him, but he’s already making his way over to Nnoi.  I heave a sigh and follow.  I know there’s about to be some shit.  Ichigo stops in front of Nnoi, and I swear he looks like he’s towering over him, even though he’s only six foot to Nnoi’s seven.  “What the fuck is your problem?”

Nnoi sneers and steps into Ichigo’s face.

“My problem is you, bitch,” he growls.  Ichigo bristles even more.

“What the fuck did I ever do to you?” he asks.  Nnoitra rolls his eye.  “Answer the fucking question, you piece of shit!”

“How about that little stunt you pulled with your crocodile tears during my mother’s funeral?  You think that shit’s cute, you little fucker?”  Ichigo’s brow furrows and his scowl deepens more severely, if at all possible.

“You seriously think I’d fake something like that?  Are you fucking retarded? I cried because for some reason unknown to me, Grimmjow can’t.  Your mother meant far more to him than she meant to you, and I haven’t seen him shed a single tear since she passed.  So yeah, I cried; but I did because I truly feel his pain.  If you think for a second that I would do something like that, then you are seriously as stupid as I always thought you were, you ignorant cunt!”  Nnoi snarls at Ichigo before he turns his gaze to me.

“Control your bitch, Grimm.”

I’m about to reprimand him for that nonsense when Ichigo hauls off and punches Nnoi so hard that blood spurts from his mouth.

“You are completely unbelievable!” he screams.  Nnoi looks a little shocked, but he recovers quickly and just as he’s about to hit Ichigo back, I intervene, slamming my fist into his abdomen.  He doubles over, coughing up blood.  I’m about to release a whole new world of hurt on his ass, when I feel a soft tug on my slacks.  Nel looks up at me, her big hazel eyes watery with tears.

“Grimmy, why are you fighting?  Auntie wouldn’t like this.”  I grit my teeth, shooting Nnoi an acidic glare.

“Get the fuck out.  We’ll finish this later.”  Nnoi gives Ichigo and me a glare of his own before he storms out of the banquet hall.  Ichigo picks Nel up, comforting her as she cries softly.  He turns to me with an apologetic look in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Grimmjow.  I know it was beyond wrong of me to cause a scene like that.  That was completely my fault.”  I hug him close to me, stroking Nel’s hair gently as well.

“No it wasn’t.  All of what you said was true.  Even down to me not being able to cry.  Thank you for what you did for me, Ichi.”  He kisses me softly before giving me a small smile.

“You’re welcome, Grimm.  I love you.”

“I love you too, Ichigo.”

 

* * *

 

I smile as I watch Ichigo as he sleeps soundly.  His vibrant orange bangs are casting a shadow over his eyes and his lips are slightly parted as he takes slow, even breaths.  I reach over and touch his cheek, stroking the soft, sun-kissed skin lovingly.  He’s truly the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, both inside and out.  I know I’m not the best person right now, but maybe I did something really good in a past life; that’s the only reason I can think of that allows me to have Ichigo.  I lean down and press my lips to his gently.  When I pull back, he shifts and his gorgeous eyes flutter open. My smile returns and he answers it with one of his own.

“Hey,” he says.

“Hey.”  I keep staring at him, and he laughs.

“What is it?”

“Nothing.  I was just thinking about how much I don’t deserve you,” I say.  Ichigo frowns and sits up.

“Don’t say such stupid things, Grimmjow.”

“I’m serious.  You’re so amazing, so. . .good.  And I’m not.”

Ichigo seems confused.  I realize that now is a more than perfect time to tell him everything I should have told him already.  I can’t though.  I know it’s completely selfish, but I don’t want to tell him until we’re married.  I don’t realize that Ichigo was talking until he grabs my face and turns me toward him.

“Grimmjow, did you hear me?  You are good, alright?  You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” I can’t speak, so I just nod.  Shit, I must’ve been Gandhi in a past life.

“Remember how I said we were getting married?” I ask.  Ichigo nods.  “Well, that’s why we’re going to Spain.  We leave in three hours.”  Ichigo gasps and then hugs me tightly.  I sigh as I hug him back.  I definitely don’t deserve him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading...until next time,
> 
> Patd06


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